I wait for the storm. We are only forecast to get tropical storm force winds, and only an inch or two of rain.

One of my high school friends lives on Daytona Beach. She’s safely in Iowa, visiting. But her son and his partner were still at home there, and left this afternoon. They had mandatory evacuation They have 2 dogs and my friends cat with them. I’m afraid they will not find a place to stay, I have told her to tell them to come here. I still don’t know if they’ve found a place to stay. Most places are sold out between here and there.

My friend Beth is trying to get the sheriff on Daytona Beach to go break down her 89 yr old uncle’s door, because he refuses to leave, but will probably surely die if he stays there. She doesn’t have internet access, so I got her the sheriff’s phone number. She’s pretty worried about him.

I am not too worried about loss of power. I have a gas stove, so don’t need it to cook. I have city water, and since we will not be getting a storm surge, I don’t expect there to be any problems with that. It will be hot without the air, but doable.

We were going to go to openI mic night as we usually do tonight. But it was canceled. It’s beginning to rain, now, a little. On and off. Bands of rain. I didn’t check to see if it was canceled until I was out of the shower and dressed to go out, lol.

All of my adult life, until 10 years ago, so 30 years or so, I had a boat, and had to run from the hurricanes, or tie it up with double lines and pray. I keep thinking how glad I am not to have to deal with that in this kind of mess.

Instead, I am sitting in my living room with a glass of wine, some olives, and other snacks, wondering what I should make for dinner. LOL.

I am concerned though for those in harms way. I have friends from high school who live on the east coast, and have had to evacuate. I am worried about my small town, and am very grateful we are on the less dangerous side of the storm, and probably 100 miles from the places that are looking at real devastation. To add insult to injury, they are now predicting it to go up the coast to SC, and then loop back around and make a 2^nd landfall in South Fl. WTF. I’ve lived through a few hurricanes up in New England and know the devastation that’s possible.

All’s well, as of this moment. Love and light, all.

All the news this morning is the impending hurricane. Here on the west coast of Florida, we’ll get about an inch of rain, and maybe some tropical storm force winds. It’s supposed to come ashore tonight, and the worst of it on the East Coast is supposed to be in the middle of the night.

I’m so grateful, that it’s not predicted to be bad here. Just so grateful. The weather this weekend is supposed to be heavenly. I remember that the day after every hurricane or tropical storm I’ve been through, which has been a few, has been absolutely beautiful. I know so many people will suffer through this, and a lot of people already are. My thought and prayers are with them, always.

I went to the pier this morning, even knowing it would not be a beautiful sunrise. There are bands of fast moving storm clouds overhead, interspersed with blue sky. 

A flock of crows sat with me on the end of the pier, like 100 of them. I never thought of them as sea birds, but there they were with me. When I got back to my car, a single one was on the roof of my car.

I looked up crowd on Spiritanimal.com. They are associated with life mysteries and magic, and also deception. They are also associated with bad luck, and death. I’m not sure what message they carry for me, especially the single one on the roof of my car. I feel like the appearance has to do with why I was so upset and nervous yesterday morning.

Today, I am ok. I am trusting in the universe to get me through all that has occurred this week, this past 4 or 5 weeks. Just handing it over, because it’s too much for me alone to try to deal with. Besides, much of it is out of my control. The hurricane is probably stirring energies too, besides the physical ones that are apparent to everyone.

I noticed that on the road that leads to the beach there are signs showing how far up the water comes for different categories of storms. Cat 3, 16′. I’m at 20′ above sea level. 4′ does not seem much, but apparently it’s enough to keep me out of the flood plain. Anyway, this Cat 4 hurricane will only be a tropical storm here.

Love and light, everyone.

This post is stream of consciousness. To record and work through.

Woke up with a nervous stomach. So many things to do, so many more things now, left undone. PTSD? Maybe. It might have been enough emotional trauma, to retire, to move my son 2000 miles away, to move myself 1500 miles away, to leave all the people I loved, and the place I’d lived for 40 years.

Maybe. Maybe not.

Apparently not.

Apparently I needed to get rear ended, have a wickedly sore neck and back, and no car, and only one friend who has a car which is 20 years old. I am grateful for her, for sure.

I needed to get on the phone and start dealing with this shit. This morning I got a rental car, Enterprise is coming here this afternoon at 3. I called my insurance adjuster, and he recorded the full report. I spoke to the man who’s going to appraise the damage, I spoke to the garage where it was towed. I paid my homeowners bill because I just thought that might be a good idea with the hurricane coming, even though it is not supposed to hit us on the far west coast of Florida. I took care of changing my voters registration. I texted with a bunch of my friends up north who were worried about the hurricane. I got the ink cartridge changed in my printer, I cleaned up some of the papers and loose stuff laying around.

I wrote, a couple of poems. I struggled with them.

Then I went to therapy, which is like spending an hour at the spa. I got a wonderful back/neck rub which really really helps. She also put ultrasound on my neck and back, to break up the knots, and relax the muscles. I like this dr, who doesn’t push pain medications, instead uses alternative therapies. The massage therapist is wonderful.

I feel better now. Not so unsettled. Not so vulnerable. Not so much at the mercy of the fates.

Tomorrow I have to drive to my car and get the plates off of it, to send them back to CT. Then, I guess, it’s wait to see how much they’ll give me. In the meantime, I can get back to doing stuff for the house. Thursday we’ll go to Open Mic night again. Saturday or Sunday I’ll go over to my sisters, and do some laundry, and maybe go to the beach, or hang by her pool. It’s supposed to be gorgeous. Hot, and dry.

My life will start getting back to what it was Monday before the accident. I hope. It’s the most we can do, isn’t it? About most things, is hope that they will turn out like our dreams. Live as if they will, as if they already have. Only the last step, the actualization of our hearts desire, should be left to manifest. Lord knows, just being here, in this house is the manifestation of a huge dream. I could have been clearer, I guess, and specified, “No trauma…no more.” I will do that next time I set intentions, lol.

Love and light everyone.

My friend who was in the car with me connected me to a doctor I really like. He offers different modalities. Today he did a thorough evaluation of my injuries, and then sent me to his therapy department for a wonderful massage.  I felt better after that, but of course now, hours later, my neck and lower back are pretty painful.

I also had an MRI today. I’d never had one before.  I can see why people might get claustrophobic.  The tube is tight, and it’s right above your head.  Since I meditate so regularly, I just closed my eyes and went somewhere else.  It took about 15 minutes to scan my neck, and about a half hour to do my lower back.  I think I fell asleep during the latter, despite the jackhammer noise the machine makes.  I got a CD of the scan, which I can look at.  Though, I’m not sure I’d have an idea what I’m looking at.

Then we went to the store, which is where we were heading yesterday when we got smashed.  I don’t understand why I cannot find a pound of fresh strawberries anywhere.  I love to put them in a salad with goat cheese, and in my cereal.  In CT, they were always available, year round.  I don’t get it.  It seems the stores here could import them from California too.  Maybe if I can get to Whole Foods.  When I get a car.

I didn’t get to even call the insurance co today, because we were in the medical facility all day.  I’ll call first thing tomorrow, and hopefully have wheels again tomorrow.  Then I can get back to getting some of the house things done, while I wait for a settlement on my car.

Love and light all.

I got rear-ended yesterday.  I was about to cross an intersection and fire trucks and an ambulance came upnthe cross street, sirens blaring, lights flashing. All three lanes of traffic in my direction stopped. Everyone, except the girl driving the big Dodge pick-up behind me. She didn’t even consider slowing down and slammed into the back of my Nissan Sentra at about 40 or 45 mph. She sent me careening across the intersection as the Fire dept were making their turn.  They saw it, called it in and diverted one of the ambulances back to us. 

I’m ok, my neck and back are sore. I was with my friend who already has a bunch of back issues, she will feel it more than me. We’re both going to the dr this morning.  We’ve also contacted her atty. 

I’m pretty sure my car is totaled. The trunk is basically under the backseat. The bumper was on the road in front of the truck. 

So now I have to get a rental car, and put the house stuff on hold and buy a new car, as soon as I know what they’re going to give me for my car. Grateful the truck was insured. 

Sometimes it just sucks to be alone. Here I am, without a car, in a town where I know 3 people.  I’m grateful for those 3, they are good friends.  Our friend Art, dropped what he was doing and canevti pick us up and bring us home. 

To make it worse, we had severe t-storms last night and my internet has not been working right since. So I’ve not been able to get on WP or access my email on the computer. I’m writing this on my phone. 

Stressed out now. I was just de-stressed after all the moving, road trips. I miss my son today.  And my peeps back home. 

It will all work out, I’ll get through this as I always do. I’m going to pray that I am done with crap I have to work through. Feel like I’ve got that lesson down. 

Love and light 

Does anyone besides me hate it when they have to update their iPhone? The phone’s been reminding me for days. Last night I left it plugged in so I could finally do it. This morning, when I went to the pier for sunrise, it wouldn’t access the internet through the phone server when I was not connected to wifi. Grrr. Plus every time it updates it wants me to give it a fingerprint or a passcode. No one but me ever has my phone, so I don’t feel the need for a passcode. I don’t want my fingerprint on file somewhere. It changes the way it opens from the locked position. It’s always been to sweep to the right. Now it’s push the home button. Why did they need to do that? So irritating, when they fix things that aren’t broken. I’m sure I’m going to find other irritants too.

I’ve not been sleeping well, since I’m not taking an Ambien. It’s not because I’m not taking it, it’s because that’s my normal sleep pattern. Not good. I wake up every couple hours. Sometimes I go back to sleep, sometimes I can’t. Last night I couldn’t. I was making lists, again. People to call. Things I need to do. That list seems to just be endless. I just wish I wouldn’t decide 3 AM is a good time to make the list.

At least now, I don’t have to face a day of work when I haven’t slept. So it doesn’t irritate me as much as it used to. Not to mention, I can take a nap if I feel like it.

I have had an issue with my neck ever since I fixed the drain in my bathroom sink at my old house. Reaching up and twisting so I could see what I was doing. It’s been sore ever since. I can’t turn it fully. It was part of the reason I didn’t sleep well. I suppose I need to have someone look at it, it’s been about 2 months.

When I woke up last night, every single time, I had Beth Hart’s song, “Sky Full of Clover” going through my head. I love the song, but have no idea why it was endlessly running through my head all night. Anyway, if you’ve never heard it, and want to, the youtube link is below.

Love and light everyone.