Monthly Archives: April 2017

Smiling A Lot This Week

Posted on by learning to live like water

Happiness and gratitude are my partners this week. I guess one doesn’t come without the other, and I am surely both.  Just smiling a lot.

Having so much fun hanging out with my son. I love the adult he’s become. He’s still funny as hell. He has a kind heart. He is passionate about some things, like the EDM music he mixes. He has 1 for sure gig in two weeks at a Denver club, and maybe one at a 420 festival in Denver on Thursday 4/20. Someone is trying to get him into the line up. I guess Denver is a world hub for this kind of music. He’s just a good kid, a good sense of right and wrong. He has an incredible work ethic, too.

I am so grateful, so utterly grateful, that he’s such a good kid. 25 yr old good kid, lol. I’m grateful that he wants to hang with me, that he wanted me to stay up and watch a movie with him last night, that he can tell me anything, and does.

He says he wishes he had family close to him in Denver, and I so wish he did too. I had no family in CT when I moved there when I was 21 or 22, and I am sure that’s one reason I was so sucked into the relationship with my ex. Isolation is not good for you. We’re social animals, us humans.

We spent a couple days and one night at my sister and brother-in-law’s house. It was good to see them, they loved seeing my son. Everyone has drama in their lives, but really, he has none, and hates it. He doesn’t have a girlfriend at the moment, and when he does have one, the minute they introduce drama into the relationship, he’s outta there. I guess he had enough drama growing up for 15 lifetimes.

The weather was really hot the first few days he was here. Now it’s cool, highs in the low 70s’s. 57 overnight! Tomorrow it’s back to the 80’s but not as humid as it was, so it’s all good. Been very windy though. The Gulf of Mexico looked a lot more like the Atlantic with crashing breakers. We went to the beach one afternoon, but only stayed an hour, because we were getting sand-blasted by the wind.

This morning I’m going to help him on his taxes. Tonight I’m going to take him out to the Italian restaurant in town. I’ve been dying to try it, it has a good reputation. He might meet a couple of my friends today. I told him I brag about him a lot, so they all want to meet him, lol.

I will be so sad to see him go tomorrow. I don’t know if I’ll go out there this summer, just because he has used up his time off until September. If he can run a 3 or 4 day weekend, I would go, but we’ll just have to see.

It’s been awesome. Love and light to everyone.

Happy Un-Birthday to Me

Posted on by learning to live like water

What an awesome day. My son and I headed for my sisters and met her and my brother-in-law at an outdoor restaurant in the small fishing village of Cortez where they make the best fish tacos, conch fritters, and I had a grilled corvina sandwich. It was so good! My son kept saying he wanted to go, there are a few of those places, right on the water.

We got to my sister’s house after. She and I kind of prepped dinner, then got in our bathing suits, and then went swimming and into the hot tub for awhile, with a glass of wine and talked for about a half hour. My birthday is in a couple weeks, and my sis wanted to have a birthday dinner while my son was here, so she had shrimp on the barbie and a whole bunch of other good food, plus a pina colada angel food cake with coconut lime frosting. Dang….it was so good.

We went down to the beach for sunset, which was nice, but the sky was cloudless, so it wasn’t dramatic. It was really really windy and it’s totally cooled off today, only in the 70’s and now in the 60’s. So we didn’t linger after it went down. People say that there’s often a green flash just as the sun drops below the horizen over water, but every time we go, we watch, but we’ve never seen it. Tonight was no different. No green flash.

No plans for tomorrow…..yet. Maybe go do some souvenir shopping in Sarasota. Love and light everyone.

Couldn’t Be Much Happier

Posted on by learning to live like water

He likes my little house. That’s a big deal to me, because he was not happy at all that I sold our house in CT, and decided to move here. Change is hard for him, and we were so happy in that house, after the years of abuse with his father. We were ok in the rented condo I had for transitional space, but the house we had there was a dream come true for both of us. Now that he’s happy in CO, and has a life there, he is happy for me, and he really really likes this cute little house. Kept saying, “You did really good Mom. I get why you just had to buy it.” Because, he felt for the longest time that buying this house pushed me to sell the house in CT immediately. But fact was, that house was going on the market when it did, and he gets that now. You have to sell between March and November up there, because very few people buy a house in the winter.

It’s so funny, how it used to irritate me so much to find his stuff stuck in the couch, or spread on the coffee table, his shoes on the floor somewhere, or a light left on somewhere. And now…it just makes me smile. Like, oh, this is how it always was. It is so familiar, the way the things our children do are.

We can, and did, just sit in the living room, each in a recliner, and talked for hours yesterday. The TV was on for noise, as was the habit in our old life, but we just talked and talked about our new lives. I could tell he loved the familiarity of our furniture from the old house. You’d think there’d be not much to say, because we talk every day anyway, but there was. He was way too tired to do any sightseeing, and I think it was cool, that he just kind of wanted to stay here and reconnect.

My son loves to mix this EDM music, and he uploads it to SoundCloud and has like 5000 followers. He got a gig to play the Saturday after Easter at a club in Denver. He played there once before, and they liked him well enough to invite him back for Saturday night. He doesn’t get paid, but he gets his name out there. He’s meeting a lot of the artists that have made it really big. He’s really breaking into it. He says he spends most of his free time making new recordings. I love that he has a passion for it, that he follows his passion. He landed in the right place to follow this passion, since he says Denver is probably the hub in the world for this kind of music, and the wild shows that go with it.

We’re both looking forward to going over to the island tomorrow to see my sis and hubby. My sis has a big really nice apartment over the garage, overlooking her pool, that he and I always stayed at. I told him maybe we could share my mom’s old room, where I stay now, in the house. He looked so disappointed, lol. He said, “Idk, Mom. I really need my own room, you know I stay up way later than you…..” But I know it’s just because he loves that space, it’s like a really nice hotel suite. So I’ll tell my sis that he’s staying up there, so he can watch TV late, and go to bed late and sleep late, lol. Just going to tell him to come to the house to shower etc….so she doesn’t have to clean it all up for one night’s stay.

He also knows my sis is a great cook, and the food will be awesome, lol. And we’ll hang by the pool, and the hot tub and go to the beach. It will be fun. My sis just loves my son too. I know at one time her hubby was appalled that I wasn’t insisting he go to college, but he’s doing so well, I know my brother-in-law has changed his mind on that. And it’s hard not to like my kid. He’s funny, and kind, and smart. His priorities are good, and he’s set his own boundaries, that make it easy to be with him.

I’ve had a few moments of wishing he lived close to me, but I am trying not to get too attached to those, because that stuff will just ruin the time we have. Just going to enjoy having him here, and then begin to plan the next time I’ll see him. Probably in the summer sometime, I’ll head to CO for a few days. He has all kinds of places he wants to take me now.

Couldn’t be much happier this morning. Love and light all.

He’s Here. Mom’s Content.

Posted on by learning to live like water

He’s here, at long last. His plane was supposed to be here at 12:30, but they had to fly around weather in Louisiana, so they were 20 min. late. Then they had to sit on the plane 10 minutes at the gate before they could deplane. In my son’s words, “I think it would have been easier to get here if I was a Syrian refugee.” Not to denigrate the struggle the refugees have, it was tongue in cheek, said in total exhaustion after 3 hours of sleep and an irritating flight. He does not really believe th half a days late, and anxious to get here.

I took him to lunch at an outdoor restaurant called Fish, and we had Ahi Tuna Poke, which is sushi grade tuna with fried wonton wrappers and salsa, and siracha dressing, and steamed little neck clams in garlic butter with toast. Mmmmmm. And a Bloody Mary each. We came back to the house and settled in, on our couch, and just talked for a few hours, catching up. It felt so wonderful, this is what we used to do often. He’d just come sit with me and talk.

I had made ribs and potato salad this morning, and I put the ribs back in the oven with BBQ sauce and we had dinner on the deck. Now we’re just watching tube, kind of doing our own thing. It’s just so cool to have him here, like he never left….like I never left. We are like best friends now, without giving up our mother son relationship.

Tomorrow night we have the baseball game. Rays vs Yankees, it’s the closer of the 3 game series which opened the season here. My son’s a Boston fan, and you know the Red Sox/ Yankees rivalry is the greatest rivalry in sports. He’s hoping the Yanks get beat. Might run out to St. Pete Beach during the day.

All’s well that ends well. So happy to have him here. Feel like I’ll sleep really well tonight, with my baby in the house.

Love and light.

14 Hours Later

Posted on by learning to live like water

I’m going to pick him up at the airport. Finally I had to re-book him on a 7:15 flight this morning.  He’ll be here st 12:30!!  Finally. He lost a half a day of vacation so we’ll have to work to make up for it. I might not be around a lot for the rest of the week, but I’ll be back!
Love and light!  

A Little Chaos

Posted on by learning to live like water

I am so grateful I blocked my ex’s number. He left me the weirdest message today, it was completely non-sensical, I mean like the ravings of a mad man. First he asked for his social security number. He then said he talked to my son this morning and forgot to ask. No he didn’t!!! He said he was afraid my son had “sexual relationships with that whore that his friend has. I was so upset about it I was up all night.” What. The. Fuck. Is. He. Talking. About? OMG. Stark raving mad.

He a.) did not talk to my son. b.) doesn’t know any of his friends. c.) Even if he knew some friends in CT, he’s in CO now!! Ex has never met or heard the name of one of his friends there! I have no idea who he is calling a whore. Not a friggin clue.

Then he says, “apparently, he didn’t, wouldn’t even think of it…..”

The whole thing is entirely made up, and if he thinks I’d give him my son’s social security number he’s out of his mind. Oh yeah, he is. Out of his mind.

OMG. What a batshit crazy man he is. So glad I don’t even live near him. And that I blocked his phone. Phew!

And that comes on the heels of Frontier delaying my son’s flight for 6 hours so that he gets in at 5 am. He is so angry, as am I….11:45 was late enough, and a one hour delay. 6 is unreal. Though I suppose it will be easier for me at 5 am. I’ll just get up at 4 and head to the airport. Pisses me off though, he’ll lose the first half a day sleeping. And I just woke up from a nap I took so I’d be awake at 11:45. Now I have to try to sleep for 5 or 6 hours before I go get him, and I won’t be tired, lol. Oh well, it’s whatever!

My horoscope didn’t mention that today might be a little on the chaotic side. Even though it’s usually pretty accurate, lol.

Love and light, all….