Renewing a Meditation Practice

I didn’t sleep well last night, and so didn’t wake up in time to see sunrise this morning. It was one of those mind chatter nights. I fell asleep fine, despite having listened to an hour or so of that ridiculous debate. But I woke up, a couple hours later and just had such a hard time shutting it down again.

Thoughts… of what I had to do today. Go to the dr. Meet the guy from the insurance company to get the payment for my car. Go look at another car. Tonight go to the open mic and hear my poems read, which makes me really nervous and self-conscious. Then, I thought about my friends back home, the ones who have been part of my life, and I missed them. I was so glad to hear from the friend yesterday, and another that I messaged with later.

I finally fell back to sleep with my meditation music, and a conscious effort at remembering all the things I have to be grateful for.

This morning I realized that my meditation practice has really slid since I’ve been here. New routines, new surroundings. I did a good 20 minutes this morning, trying to focus on Sat, Chit, Ananda. Existence, Consciousness, Bliss. It took about half the time to shut down the chatter again. When I finally did, a lump rose in my throat. I don’t know why, except, I was just grateful for the people who are in my life, and for the universe bringing to me, or maybe actually bringing me to, the kind of life I have dreamed of.

So, I need to get this car thing finished. A car needs to be something I take for granted that I have, not something I have to spend a great deal of time thinking about. Then I can get back to the business of continuing to make this house the way I need it to be.

I want to make jewelry again. Really have a hankering to do that. The other night I was wearing a rose quartz wire wrapped pendant which I wear often, and people have asked me if I have a studio when they find out I made it. I always want to laugh, and think….Geez, I just do this as a hobby. But maybe I could get my stuff displayed at some of the stores around here. I asked my friends if they think my work is good enough to show in places like that and they were like, “OMG, Deb it is totally good enough!” Well, I need the money. I guess I’ll try and see what happens.

Anyway, I can’t make jewelry until I have a place in my house to do it, and so, I have to get back to the business at hand of getting the house set up as I need it to be. And first, I need to have a car.

Sometimes this is harder than I thought it would be. And then I have to say, but aren’t you lucky you can do it at all?

Yes, I’m blessed. Totally. I can do this. One thing at a time. Even though I haven’t really got a time table, I need to press on, I need it done, so I can live the way that works for me. So, onward, as Liz Gilbert says. Onward.

Love and light, all

Advertisements

How I Spent the Day

I did say I had some cooking to do, didn’t I? So, I went into the kitchen at about 3:30. I decided it might be a good idea to get the house cooled down, since I was about to turn on the oven. I shut all the windows and flipped the switch to on, and turned the temp inside down a few degrees.

Let me say that I have been lax as a mom lately. All that stupid drama, but I’ve reset my focus on things that are important to me. Like making balanced good meals. I was a good cook at one time. I feel like I’ve forgotten more than I remember. I intend to change that, and get my screwed up priorities straightened out.

Then, I turned the oven on. Got out a box of Snickerdoodle cookie mix and made some for my son. His favorite cookie. Last night I had made one of my favorite snacks for the party. You take a toothpick and put on a piece of mozzarella cheese, a leaf of basil, and a grape tomato. Then you drizzle it with balsamic vinegar dressing. My son got none of those, except one. He tasted them and said, “Those are FIRE, Mom.” Meaning, they are really good. So I had some tomatoes left, some mozzarella left, and a bit more basil in my herb garden. So I put some more of those together.

Then I took a rack of spareribs and put them in the oven at really low with a little bit of water, after rubbing them with some BBQ rub. They need to cook like that for about 3 hours. But they will be goooooood. If you like ribs.

Then, I remembered that I had to make a dish to take to my friend Susan’s house Wednesday night. Her son is getting married. It is a quick and quiet wedding. The bride is not pregnant, but they met on FB, he is in the service. He is on leave from Japan and dying to marry this girl. So despite the fact that they have only spent one week together in real life, no one could talk them out of it. I think it will be a kind of weird wedding, not a lot of people. But Susan is one of my best friends, and her son and my son were very close for many years. I love him dearly, though am terribly worried about this.

I had boiled a dozen eggs yesterday. Today I fried a bunch of bacon nice and crisp and crunched it up into little pieces, mixed it with the hard boiled yolks, and made deviled eggs.

I’m all done cooking now, for the time being. I will put some corn on the cob on when my son gets home. But for now, I am sitting on the deck, once again, with a glass of wine and a bunch of stuffed olives. Yum. And writing again. Like an obsessed woman, lol.

I actually did a couple other good things today. I got a couple more pieces up on my Etsy site, www.sundogsdesigns.etsy.com. I posted some stuff on my Living Like Water FB page. I read. I chatted with a friend. I napped. But all in all, I had a good, relaxing but fairly productive day. Here are a couple pics of the necklaces I put up on Etsy today.

Love and light, all.

Day One, 2016. Good Day.

 

Astrophyllite pendant

Quiet first day of 2016. I was alone all day, which was fine. I was tired from going to bed at 1 AM, and not sleeping that well. I made the pendant in the picture today. The stone is a natural stone called Astrophillite. I’d never seen the stone before, and really liked the irridescence embedded in the black stone.

I looked up the metaphysical properties, and found this:

Astrophyllite is a stone of self-knowledge and self-acceptance that is said to promote a feeling of well-being. Through this self-awareness and acceptance, it is said to be excellent for releasing unhealthy behavior patterns or bad habits. It is said to help one reach and align with the soul’s purpose.

Astrophyllite grounds and calms, as well as protecting. It can bring fidelity, honesty between partners by activating a soul-connection that allows the partners to “see into” the other’s soul. It is said to give the ability to make major change that moves forward your life journey in a positive way, something akin to the saying that when a door closes, a window opens somewhere. Astrophyllite is said to help with astral travels. (from http://meanings.crystalsandjewelry.com/astrophyllite/

Geez. Too bad I didn’t have this stone over the summer. I just bought it a couple months ago. Coincidental? Well, I have it now.

I actually started this pendant the other day. I coiled the wire for the wavey feature on the right the other day,then put it all together today. The cube shaped clear stones are clear quartz crystal. Total time to make it was probably 5 or 6 hours. I’ll put it up on my Etsy store when I get more pics taken.

I really enjoy making jewelry, especially this type of wire wrapping. It uses a different part of my brain than writing, and it does me good to be creative in another way besides writing. I tend to get too much in my head sometimes, with writing. Especially when I’m alone all day. I start wanting answers to questions that will never be answered. I begin to feel people’s energy that would be better left alone.

It was coming on pretty strong today. So I sent Reiki to him fairly intensely for a half hour earlier today. I don’t know if he’s even open to it. If he’s not he won’t get it, but it will be there for him if he is. It helped me anyway. I turn the energy back around toward him with a loving intent, and it balanced me at the same time. All has been quiet since.

It’s a quiet evening now. I’m watching Coneheads on TV, it’s such funny movie. I remember when it first came out, my ex and I were on our boat, going down the Connecticut River with 1000 other boats. This had to be in the 80’s. Some guys came up the river, in the opposite direction in a candy red speedboat, flying up the river. When they went by us, we could see that they had coneheads on….OMG, we were laughing so hard…

Hope everyone had a good and peaceful first day of the year. Love and light.

No Words Tonight

Just checking in.  I don’t really have any words tonight, stepping back til I gather myself.  But I wanted to say, that today I had my best day ever on WP!  I don’t know why.  I only posted this morning, and then kind of lost my capacity for expressing myself the rest of the day.  So, I would have to say, it was the Universe trying to brighten my day.  I am so utterly grateful for it, for all the people who visited my blog.  Going back to making jewelry for a bit, I need to do something that doesn’t make me think about things that render me wordless.

Love to all..