Category Archives: Content

As Good As It Gets, for the moment

Posted on by learning to live like water

Mondays I work late, til 7.  I started work at 9.  So, it was another long, busy day.  It’s good, that it’s busy.

But now I’m home.  I’ve eaten leftovers from Sunday, when I usually manage to make a decent meal.  I have a half glass of cabernet beside me, 3 squares of dark chocolate, in my warm fleece jammies, lol.  It’s about as good as I can get it at the moment.

Good, considering I was a little angry about things today, but I wrote the anger off to the still present emotional waves.  When I thought about how cruelly he ended it with me 7 weeks ago, and then wouldn’t let me go, kept calling and texting and leaving me voice mails, asking me to come see him, right up to the moment he was exposed, and then had the unmitigated gall to ask me to lie for him….Geezus.  It just pissed me off.  I mean, really what rock did he crawl out from under?  But I’m over it.  A little rage bubbles up, I consider the source, and honest to God, I have to laugh at someone who is so clueless.  Geezus.

So, now I’m home, in my beautiful home, relaxing, writing, being happy.  A is texting me with his undying love, which from 2000 miles is a soothing.  He has gutted his new home, he’s sent me pics.  He and his son are doing all the work.  A is 69, man, he’s working his ass off physically.

I so didn’t want to be at work today.  I can’t wait to put this house on the market in spring.  I am believing that it will sell by summer.  I just can’t wait to retire, and not work.  Own a home with no mortgage.  I wanted to be writing all day today.  It has become such a passion, to sit down and put my thoughts and emotions to written word.  So healing.

My cousin was reading some of the poetry I’ve written and put up here last night.  She knows what I’ve been through and could feel it in what I wrote.  She said, “Damn, Deb, you are good…”  I told her the only problem is that to write a good poem I apparently need to be tortured, lol. Or crazy in love.  So… lately I’m just tortured.

The love will come, the love will come.  My heart is open, the love will come.

Easy Peasy

Posted on by learning to live like water

Today was a good day.  It was beautiful.  I got to go to the cove for lunch.  I stayed pretty grounded all day.  I am getting caught up at work.  I texted with A for quite awhile.  He’s been without cell service for a few days, but has it where he is today.  That was nice.

At one point I asked him where he was.  Then I apologized, kind of, for asking, saying, I just wondered.  Feeling like I was asking too personal a question.  Trained by S, “what are you, writing a book?”  Always with the secrets, never wanting to share much more than what he had to.  (This automatic reaction that I had asked to personal a question only comes from S.  I never asked my ex, because either I already knew, or if I didn’t know, I knew he’d lie to me.  Just to lie.)

A answered me and sent a pic.  And then said, “It’s really nice that you ask.  It means a lot to me that you are following my adventures.”

A girl could get attached to someone like that.

Seems it should be just that easy.  Ask a question, get an answer.  No games, no pulling back, no pushing forward.  Give and take.

That’s what I’m searching for.  Easy.  Passionate. Loving.

There is a kid at work, he’s 28 maybe.  Just a bit older than my son.  He’s an electronics engineer.  Before he came to work there, right out of college, he’d never been on a plane.  Now he’s been to China, Korea…  He’s the greatest kid.  Whenever I need him to do something, he always says, “Oh that’s EASY.  Easy Peasy.”

That’s what I want.  Easy Peasy.

Friday Night

Posted on by learning to live like water

Its Friday night... Time to be a hero and rescue some wine trapped in a bottle. for @Alicia Straka: Alcohol Humor, Super Heros, Funny Friday, Alicia, My Life, Wine Traps, Anyday, Friday Nights, Amirite

Sitting on my deck, it’s 81°F at 7 pm, and the air is dry, finally….after wickedly high humidity and thunderstorms all week.  I am having crab rangoons with siracha sauce and a nice glass of cabernet, tho I’m sorry to say that I have now finished off the bottle, with this first glass.  Not to worry, there is Chardonnay in the fridge, lol.  I had a bag of potato chips, made locally, Rosemary and Olive oil.  I wasn’t sure I’d like them, but they are good!  Feeling strong tonight, centered, unafraid.  Gong baths are so good for me, lol.

I talked to S today, first time all week.  No, not talked.  Texted.  and emailed.  Started off as an email, but I unblocked him on my phone sensing no danger to my psyche.  I’m standing my ground, lol.  I really didn’t want it to end ugly.  We talked about our relationship….Ahhh it was all good.  To be open and fearless, lol.

I heard from A today as well, quite a bit.  He’s camping in the Cascades in Washington State….remote camping spot, in the woods, next to a river where he has what seems to be a private beach.  He sent me a “selfie” of his leg, lol.

I love Friday nights  No plans for tomorrow except to get my family room measured for a new carpet.  However, when I booked it I forgot there’s a parade in town from 11 to about 1.  They are to call me between 7 and 9 to set up the time.  If they can’t work around that I’ll reschedule for next weekend.  There are fireworks tomorrow I’d like to see, but no one to go with….

Sunday I have plans with a friend.  It’s going to be close to 90° all weekend, I love the heat.  My kind of summer weekend.  Except the air conditioning bills, lol.

Need to refill my wine glass.  Have a good weekend everyone.