Sitting out on the deck in the late afternoon, watching the shadows lengthen. Seems days have gotten maybe 20 minutes longer since the winter solstice. It’s a lovely afternoon. Was quite warm today, warm enough for the shorts and flip-flops to come back out.

I had a very pleasant date this morning for coffee. Actually was quite pleasantly surprised. We talked as equals, it was quite nice. He’s an interesting man, with an interesting life. I think he found me the same way. He brought his dog with him, which you can do in Gulfport to outdoor cafes. Fell in love with the dog. He said when he goes to visit his daughter at college, she always wants to know if the dog is coming. After awhile, I said, “I’m going to be like your daughter, and if you ask me out in the boat I’ll want to know if Milo (the dog) is coming!” He laughed, and said something like, “, You’ll be saying, if we break up can I still see Milo?” We talked for about 2 hours h and when we finished, he kissed me, twice, as we said good-bye. He asked me if I’d like to go sailing. And I laughed, answering, UM, Yeah! He smiled and said, “I didn’t think you’d say no.” I’d like him with or without the boat, though. He’s someone who really does have a life, and is not gonna fall in love with me on the first date. Enough of those, lol.

One of the things that attracted me to him was his pictures showed him having FUN, and that he had a sense of humor. He’s really not so hung up on things. Just was looking for something to talk about.

I went to Home Depot after I got home, and he texted me while I was there, that he really enjoyed the coffee, and we’ll have to plan some “boat time” soon. I told him I’d love that, that I thoroughly enjoyed the morning, and would bring the food and wine. LOL.

But, I’ll have to wait and see if I hear from him again. No expectations here, though he seemed sincere. He could change his mind. Whatever. It was a nice date, that’s all.

My sister gave me some lights for my deck for Christmas. They’re a string of shell lights, little LED’s I think, inside shells. Anyway, I finally got the outdoor extension cord, and put them up today. I’m excited to see how they look in the dark!

I may go to my sister’s on Sunday, though it doesn’t look like it’s going to be a nice day. Chance of a t-storm I think, or just rain. I talked to her today for the first time since my friends were all here, and I’m kind of missing her and her hubby. And the pool, lol. She wants to come back here and go to the Salvador Dali museum too. There is an exhibit there now of Freda Kahlo’s work which we’d both like to see.

It’s been a nice day, really nice, all day. Love and light.

I think WP’s spam filter has gone bad. I received the following as a comment on a haiku I wrote called “Delighted”, published December 16.

“Hello my name is Mrs Clara Williams, I want to tell the world about LORD GUDUGUDU , the spell caster who help me when i had problem with my husband i love so much and it lead to marriage breakup, life shattered and scattered and the problem leads to so many problem that i could not longer handle so i meant a friend of mine who told me of this the spell caster LORD GUDUGUDU and to cut the story short, i am very happy today because the man could solve my problem and today my husband is back and we are living happily in our marriage again, thanks to LORD GUDUGUDU , and i have nothing i could really do than make people know of his good work to mankind. if looking who can help LORD GUDUGUDU, THE SPELL CASTER is the right person for any kind of problems and challenges you might be encountering in your daily life, contact him now VIA email: lordgudugudu@yahoo.com”

Seriously, if that’s not spam, what is? It contains an email address, and has nothing to do with a post about being happy to wake up after a good night’s sleep, lol. I blocked Ms. Clara Williams email, and Lord Gudugudu, the spell-caster, so their comments will be discarded in the future.

Totally not needing the services of a spell-caster.

Because I often check my overnight stats while laying in bed in the morning, that’s what I woke up to this morning, lol. I hope it’s not an indicator of a weird day. I have a coffee date in the center of town at 10. The guy owns a sailing school. I hope I am not going to need spells cast for any reason, lol. I mean, who knows, maybe I’ll get to go for a sail, the school is not far from where we are meeting, and it’s a nice enough day. When we talked I didn’t get the feeling that I needed to cast a spell on him though, lol. Or would want to.

He used to be an airline pilot in an old life. When we talked on the phone, it seemed he was trying to impress me with things and money. I am so not impressed by those things, that I’m going into it with kind of a skeptical attitude. However, I’ve found that a lot of people, in talking the first time, don’t know what to say, and just rattle on. He wanted me to know that although he lives in an older craftsman house, but that there are 7 $300,000 homes going up in his neighborhood. And, so???? I told him my neighborhood was a diverse working class neighborhood. It’s whatever. We will need to get past the money thing, and to our common things, like the water. I told him in response to that statement about the 7 houses, that I loved craftsman style houses and I do. I also love 90 year old Florida bungalows like mine, lol.

Anyway, no expectations on this one. Just a cup of coffee and conversation, and we’ll see where it goes, if anywhere.

Another guy asked me to meet him over at a place on St. Pete Beach. He seems much more relaxed and laid back, but not sure if our personality types can mesh. I may be too far outside the box for him. Maybe not though.

Both men seem to be nice people, so I’ll make a couple of friends maybe, at the least. And I’m putting myself out there, so the universe can work its magic.

I was happy to wake up feeling fine this morning. I have beaten the cold that was trying to get me. I went to bed at 9:30, and woke at 5:30. I was only awake once in the night for maybe 15 minutes. Glad about that.

I have really started to mellow, I think, maybe that’s helping me sleep. I am not feeling that anyone is creeping around my blog from an old life any longer, or, that if they are, they are keeping it to themselves and that’s how it should be. I’m happy to reclaim ownership completely, and not have to worry about censoring what I say due to who may read it.

I was thinking, as I lay in bed this morning, that I’m going to start looking into publishing some of my work. A book of haiku maybe. And another of poetry. One of my bff’s from up north, gave me an idea for combining the poetry with stories of my life. She suggested a poem, followed by the that events that caused me to write it. It’s not a bad idea. I have all the history here, so it wouldn’t be that difficult to put together.

I started a book a long time ago, based on my my horrible abusive marriage, and how I got through it. I wasn’t really writing poetry then. But I was learning lessons. So each chapter had a lesson to be gleaned from the experience.

So maybe I have four books in my head. Haiku, some poetry, my abusive marriage and the fight to be free of it, and then life post divorce, which would include poetry and history.

The hard part about writing about the past, is that to write it I have to feel it. And there are a lot of things it’s taken a lot of time to get over, and I don’t know that I want to revisit those emotions. I do think that I might be able to help others who find themselves in similar situations though.

Well, it’s food for thought.

I got another email from Tim, the guy I cut loose Monday.  He said that words were hard to find when he originally got my email. Then he had some of the words to Bob Dylan’s Forever Young.  It was nice enough, but I did not respond.  I know that what he needs is to not hear from me, so he can just forget about me.  I’ve been no contact enough to know how it works.  Thank God I didn’t drag it on, he’d have been hurt.

I need to get to Home Depot or Lowes and get some more bug stuff, Home Defense, to spray around my house. I have seen a couple of weird ants in my kitchen. I forget that I have to reapply the stuff every so often down here in Florida, where the bugs multiply exponentially. At least I haven’t seen a Palmetto bug in a while. Those things make me shiver just thinking about them.

Anyway, it’s been an interesting morning so far, lol. When I got out of bed this morning I had vertigo for a few moments. Room spinning and all until I settled in an upright position. I am guessing I had too many things rolling around in my head, lol. Anyway, I’m looking forward to seeing how the day will turn out. The date today adds up to a 1 in numerology. The time as I’m typing this is 7:31, adds up to 11. The number 1 is the primal force, the creator. 11 is the intuitive force, and a portal for new beginnings. I guess I’ll find out if any of that rings true at the end of the day.

Love and light, all.

I was outside before sunrise this morning. It was an uncommonly beautiful sunrise, the whole sky was aflame. The pictures from my deck don’t do it justice, so I’m not posting any. But it was lovely to be up so early and catch it. I would like to get back into my routine of being up early enough to get to the fishing pier to see it, and take my walk.

I felt a cold coming on yesterday. It hadn’t got the better of me yet, and so armed with zinc, vitamin C, and Echinacea I took the Benadryl, and slept from about 9:30 til 6 this morning. This morning I’m feeling much better, though I’m smart enough to keep up the regimen for another couple of days. Last thing I want is to get a full fleged cold.

I am glad I told Tim goodbye yesterday, instead of thinking I might figure out how to make that work if I could get him to calm down. I know you can’t change anyone. It’s something he needs to figure out for himself.

I got messages immediately after, from a couple of seemingly nice men. After messaging back and forth they both want to meet. There’s no way to know if either of them will click, but repeatedly, I am reminded that when you close the wrong door another one opens. I have always been of the mind that if there is an unpleasant task, like telling someone you aren’t feeling any connection, or firing somebody, lol, whatever it may be, that it’s best to just jump in and do it. Get it over so you can go on with your life. Procrastinating the inevitable just ends up wasting your time and energy worrying about it. Consistent forward motion is vital to our well-being.

The first time I went to a psychic/medium, she told me exactly that, that when I close the wrong door, the right one will open. She also told me that Florida would offer me great opportunities. I’m seeing my life on a path. The first wrong door I had to close was on Scott. That was a hard one, because I really really loved the guy. I guess that there are things about him I will always love, but I closed the door because in the end, every time, it was only pain, only a game to him. Now that I have managed to close it, a few new doors have opened. Each one seems to bring me closer to where I want to be, even though they turned out not to be THE door, they were successively closer. I have no doubt that the right door is going to open for me.

Life is a journey for sure. We all know that. I’m determined that I will enjoy my life, and be happy. Even under the Tweeter-in-Chief, lol. Although I will continue to oppose everything that he stands for, and fight his racist, misogynist, lying sociopathic plan to enrich himself and his buddies as best I can. It’s a scary thing he’s doing, and he’s not even inaugurated yet. I hope we all stand vigilant for the next 4 years.

It promises to be a beautiful day here today. Feeling blessed, sitting here outside with my second cup of coffee. Love and light, everyone.

Never one to put off an unpleasant task, I sent Tim an email telling him I didn’t think I’d ever feel more than a friendship with him. As I was writing it, I realized that last night I had sent him, in reply to an email from him telling me what a great day we had, a heartfelt email saying that I felt he was trying too hard to impress me, to sweep me off my feet.  Told him I didn’t want to be swept, that I only wanted to know who he was.  I told him the day was so nice, it didn’t need to be perfect, (he wanted everything to happen just so).  I was as kind and loving as I could be.  I sent him a link to the Leonard Cohen song, Anthem.  There is a crack in everything.  Forget your perfect offering.

This morning’s email from him didn’t mention it.  As if I’d never sent it.  As if he’d not read it.  Which only reinforced what I was feeling.  That’s the kiss of death, to ignore me.  To be non-responsive to a heartfelt communication.  What justification is there for that?

It just tells me he doesn’t like, and avoids at all costs, the hard conversations.

Haven’t heard from him yet, but he often doesn’t check his email til the end of the day.  Maybe I won’t hear.  That would be the best.

Onward.  Life is beautiful.  Love and light….