Walk with me a spell

I want to know you better

Tell me your secrets

I will hold them in my heart

And I’ll trust you with my own.

I sat outside in the early morning this morning, for the first time. I’ve missed that. I’ve sat out there before, but have not done my morning routine there. Sitting in my nightgown and bathrobe. It was about 63°. Nice and cool, perfectly clear. I so love doing my morning meditation out there, as the sun comes up.

I scrubbed out my bathroom, and then took a very long hot shower. Last night I just didn’t have it in me to scrub that tub out. So I am back to normal today. I don’t know if I’ll ever take plumbing for granted again. At least a good friend from back home called me last night, and helped me get past the trauma, lol.

I ran a couple errands this morning, gave my friend who has no car a ride to the laundromat and home, and then we went to the cafe in town and caught the last hour of the brunch with live music. Someone was playing I hadn’t heard before, but everyone else knew him. He had a really nice voice, played a guitar and sang a lot of music I love. Afterward my friend introduced me to him, as she does to everybody. He actually used to teach Shakespeare at Dartmouth College in NH, and was from Boston. He knew CT well, knew the town I lived in. It was kinda cool to meet someone from up north.

It was supposed to be cooler today, in the 70’s. But my car still said it was 82°, and it was bright clear sun. Such a nice afternoon to be sitting outside listening to music. It hasn’t rained here in at least a month. We did have a couple of kind of cloudy days, lol.

I came home and cut up a ton of veggies for some homemade veggie soup. I cooked some andouille chicken sausage too, to put in it. It smells really good! I’m looking forward to having it for dinner. But right now, I’m having a glass of wine, olives stuffed with garlic, and a few crackers with a few different cheeses for a snack.

Another one of my friends from up north called me this afternoon. It’s exactly what I feel like doing today, sitting in my house, with a good dinner on the stove, and talk to some old friends. In fact it was what I wanted last night too, after my plumbing fiasco. So, it’s all good. Feeling pretty grounded at the moment.

Life in Florida, lol. Perfect. Love and light.

$974.00 later, I have a functioning bathroom. I missed my friends opening, with my jewelry, at the art gallery in St. Pete. Not happy about that, but the plumber didn’t leave until 7. By the time I would have gotten there, it would have been less than an hour til closing. Honestly, the ordeal of not having indoor plumbing for a day exhausted me.

The plumber was a nice young man. I thought he was in his 20’s, lol, but no he was actually the father of a 16 and 17 year old, around 40 I’d guess. He replaced the flapper on the toilet too for no charge. He really had to work. But OMG, my house smelled so bad for awhile. I found out which windows can be opened, because I had to open them to get the stink out of the house.

Maybe tomorrow we’ll go to brunch at the local cafe, maybe not. It depends on when all of the rest of them get home tonight. They may go out for a drink after the galleries close, although they usually don’t want to spend the money.

I got my chairs finished on the painting. Other than that, my afternoon consisted of picking up, cleaning up, and worrying about if he was going to be able to fix the plumbing. He put one snake in, and pulled it back out to try another size head to ream the line. Then he put another longer one in. Each one took about 45 minutes, and runs electrically and is noisy. The last one finally broke through whatever it was that was blocking it. They’re going to come next week and put a camera in the line, though, because he felt there was something blocking it, maybe roots or something. So they will put a camera in the line, for no cost, and give me an estimate on fixing whatever they find. I guess it’s a good thing to do. It’s an old house with old sewer lines.

Like I said, the ordeal of the plumbing exhausted me. It didn’t help that it began to back up just as I went to bed last night so I had a hard time getting to sleep, knowing I’d have an ordeal in front of me today.

So the nice weekend I had planned was pretty much a bust, but I have tomorrow to turn it around. And really…..when you don’t work, one day is the same as the next. I’m just sorry I missed my friend’s event at the gallery. I’ll take my sis down there sometime in the next month.

Onward. Love and light.

Ok….My toilet is backing up into my bathtub. It’s about as gross as it gets. The plumber is here, now, fixing. I hope. I am supposed to be going out to a big opening at a gallery in St. Petersburg tonight, for my friends paintings, and actually a few pieces of my jewelry are there too, under her name. She was allowed to bring jewelry, 12 pieces but didn’t have 12. So she invited me to put some in. Who knows, maybe I’ll make some money to pay the plumber.

However, in the meantime, I’d sure like to take a shower. So totally irritated.

This morning I was sitting in my nightgown and robe, and my friend the painter knocked on the door. I thought she was going to a craft fair where she had a booth last week. No, she said, she just decided to come over, lol. It was nice….Then about a half hour later, my other friend showed up. We sat out on the deck and had coffee and banana bread for awhile. I like when people don’t feel they have to make a big deal of coming over. I like my friends to be comfortable enough to just stop by.

I heard from my old friend Addie today, first time in a long time. I had kind of been wondering if he was still with his girlfriend, because he took down their picture as his profile picture on FB, and has not mentioned her in a post. He was camping for a few weeks, never mentioned her. Not that he ever mentioned her a lot, but did somewhat. Like, took a walk with her, or out camping with her…..

We texted back and forth, for a while, sending each other pictures of our houses. He’s redoing his house in Santa Fe, and of course, I’m working on my house here. Finally I asked him how was his son and his gf. Because he hadn’t mentioned them. But then he disappeared….has not answered that question.

I could read a lot into his not answering….but I’m not going to. I broke his heart a few times, because I was still in love with S. I love Addie, as a friend, and I hope all is well with him, but I don’t know if he’ll tell me the truth. And I don’t want to press him. I don’t want to make him feel pain that he’s trying to deal with. So I’ll let it be, and not try to make anything out of it. If he wants to tell me, he will. He’s always said he loves me…..equated his love for me to that of his son and step-daughter. One of his favorite people, he always said. I hope I still am.

So, it’s an absolutely beautiful day here. 78°, and bright sun. I’m still in flip-flops. Sitting here as the plumber tries to clear the bathroom drain with his snake. Good thing I have a plunger, he said someone took his off his truck.

Well, I hope he gets it fixed soon, I really have to go to the bathroom…..

Oh well. Nothing I can do but send love and light.

Happiness.  I’ve been writing a lot about being happy since I moved to my new home.  But thinking about it tonight, what is it that brings us happiness?  How do we define it?  I’ve always defined myself as a happy person.  Am I just a naive Pollyanna?

I said in this morning’s blog I was happy. Does that mean I’m happy about everything in my life, and the way it’s worked out? No. Of course I’m not. I am not happy about Trump’s election, first of all. I’m not happy that I’m still alone, after all these years. I’m not happy that I have plumbing issues in my new house that might cost me a lot of money to fix.

But, I’m happy, overall. I have family near me, family that loves me, that I love. I will get to spend Thanksgiving with my sister, the first time in decades. I have made an amazing bunch of friends here. I am living in a place of my choice, where the weather is rarely cold, where I am close to the ocean, and it is part of my life, part of the culture here. I am able to write as much or as little as I want. I’m getting my house turned into a home. Perhaps moreso than my home up north, because I have the time to spend on it, because I’m not working 45 hours a week.

I dreamed a dream, and it manifested. The happiness, the joy, comes from within. No one gives it to me. I don’t believe I need anyone to complete me. I am complete. But I would love to share my life with someone, someone who is also complete, all on his own.

Today, I finished painting the chairs for my kitchen table. I set up my guest room with a night stand and lamp. I put out some things on the built in shelves in the room. I put up a few more of my things that belong on the walls. Then my friend came over and she and I turned my kitchen into a banana bread production line with about half of the bananas that the guy who runs the community garden gave us. It turned out SOOO good.

When it went in the oven, we poured ourselves a glass of wine, and began looking up music on Youtube. She is looking for a new song to sing at open mic night. We talked and laughed. Then she rode her bicycle the few blocks home.

How could a day like that not make me happy? If I had a love interest in my life here, would that have made it better? Maybe. If I had a million bucks? Yeah, maybe. If my arthritis wasn’t causing my ankles to hurt when I walk, or I still didn’t have to watch what I eat, would I be happier? Of course. But the fact that none of these things were my life today didn’t stop me from having a great day, from being happy. I had a wonderful day.

And to top it off, it was in the high 70’s today, and will be low 60’s tonight. And bright sun all day. Perfection. And now, I’m about to watch a movie called Ondine, about a fisherman who catches a mermaid in his nets.

I guess that I’ve really come to understand that happiness is not getting everything we want, but from being happy with everything we have. Feeling grateful, just grateful.

Love and light.

Never let it be said that I never sang at the Mangia Gourmet Cafe on open mic night.

I had such a good time last night. The last person to sing was this woman who sings old-style folk songs that are really easy to sing along. At the end, she always invites everyone to come up front and stand with her and sing along, and lots of people do. So all my friends (who are mostly singers) did, and I felt more conspicuous not going up than going. So I went, and kind of stood behind and beside a tall man who is a friend of mine. And I sang along, and it was so much fun! The friend I was hiding behind kept looking at me smiling, laughing, “you’re SINGING!”. Everyone was teasing me after, “You SANG!!!!” It was pretty funny, but another girl who never sings was singing too. We had a ball.

We were all pretty happy. I think everyone wanted to sing away the election blues. It’s getting into season down here. The snowbirds, like my sister and brother-in-law, who only come for the 6 months of winter, are beginning to arrive. In this town, it doesn’t make a lot of difference, except that there are a few more people at venues like this. A few more cars in town. A few more people at the restaurants. The height of season is March though, and the times I came here in the last few years before I moved here, even then, it was not crowded. We like to think it’s Florida’s best kept secret. My new doctor lives here, and said that when he’s in the center of town, where I was last night, he feels like he’s in Key West, without the crowds.

Today my friend and I are going to make a bunch of banana bread out of all the bananas we were given by the Community Garden. And I’m going to finish painting my chairs for my kitchen table.

Tomorrow our other friend opens her show at an art gallery in town, and she’s showing 7 pieces of my jewelry as part of it, in conjunction with her own work. She had to show my stuff as hers, but if they sell, she’ll give me the money. That would be nice! So it’s a big shindig, gonna dress up for it and all. 5 to 9, at the gallery. If the jewelry goes over well, I may at some point register with them, and pay the $75 fee. Then I would have my own showing there. If I can get my house set up so that I have my workspace organized.

Yesterday, I thought it was going to be cooler (again) and had on jeans, and was hot. It was in the low 80’s. But last night I wore jeans to the open mic, and a jacket, and was grateful. It was actually cool, in the low to mid 60’s. My friend, the man I hid behind on stage, is from NYC and he remarked how it felt like a NYC autumn evening. And it did! Then, this morning! It was 58 when I got up!! It will probably get up to 80 today again, but perfect sleeping weather.

We were all talking about how when a southern woman says, with her deep southern drawl, “Oh bless your little heart.”, she it’s really not a compliment. That really it is the southern lady’s way of saying “F(uck) you.” This was coming from two southern ladies. I looked at them and said, “Oh, up north, we just say Fuck you. Direct and to the point.” LOL. My friend from NYC about spit out his water but nodded in complete agreement, lol. We don’t waste time, lol, or effort, and want to be clear up north I guess. LOL. It was all in good fun.

I need to go get my grocery shopping done for Thanksgiving soon. Maybe this weekend. My sis is having around 15-20 people! I have never cooked for that many, but between the two of us, it should be a breeze. I like cooking for TG anyway. It’s kind of fun, and especially to do it with my sister, for the first time ever.

Looking forward to a lovely weekend. It’s hard to let the stupid election keep me down, when life is so good here. Even though I haven’t changed my thoughts on it, I’ve realized I am very blessed with a rich full life here. Just gonna take care of my own corner of the world right now, and be ready when the time comes, to raise my voice again.

Love and light.

I’ve been watching the election fall-out fall out. I feel like something maybe has finally awakened the millennials, my son’s generation, to the fact that they too, they most of all, must be involved in the process that will lead our country. I am heartened by the spontaneous protests that emerged yesterday, many on universities.

It was reminiscent of the days of the Viet Nam war protests, when many of us boomers became aware. It is also a little scary that it does, because the violence so prevalent in our society today, was not, then. When 4 students were shot by National Guard at Kent State, it was horrific….it was the unimaginable. Today, we have been numbed to the loss of 4 lives, sadly. Though, the loss of lives at the hands of our own military because of our differences of opinions has never been accepted.

I have a feeling that unless Trump does something remarkably opposite of all of his campaign rhetoric, that once again, our country will be polarized, but in a much scarier way. That once again, our universities will be up in flames, as young, idealistic people are faced with situations they cannot accept. I saw the security in front of Trump Tower this morning, and wondered idly if we will become a militarized state, such as was seen in DC after 9/11, when tanks with rockets drove through the streets.

My sister and brother-in-law came over yesterday. They brought my newly painted table. They brought me a bed frame for my guest room bed, and we put it together, so I officially have a place for guests to sleep! My brother-in-law then fixed my fence, checked the electrical outlets in my bedroom that don’t work. He’s 82….and never stops. He took home the cushions and the fabric for my kitchen table chairs to re-upholster them. My sister and I went to Trader Joes, which is only about 15 minutes from my house. I haven’t been in so long. I love that store. Bought a jar of garlic stuffed olives…Dang they are so good.

My sister and I vented to each other all afternoon about the election. It was good for the soul.

Then they took me out to a French restaurant in town, and it was so fun, and so good. You would never know from the outside how cute and French the restaurant is inside. And we found out that they have a whole special room with a dinner theater on a regular basis. This town is constantly surprising me.

I had my first glass of wine in about 4 weeks last night, and it seemed to settle ok. I’ve cut back my meds to one a day for the stomach thing. Maybe another week and I’ll be normal. I went to my new primary care dr yesterday. My BP was 100/58. I told her, as she tightened the cuff on my arm, “Don’t be shocked, it will be low.” The dr said my current weight is very proportionate to my height, which is the first time I’ve been told that in about 20 years. Put a smile on my face. I told him that in the last 5 or 6 years, I’ve lost about 45, well almost 50 now, lbs. He’s going to run a bunch of bloodwork on me, and I’ll go back in about 3 weeks. I think he will manage my diabetes, so I won’t have to go to another dr. Happy about the direction of my health at the moment.

Tonight is open mic night. Really looking forward to hanging out with my friends here, sitting back and relaxing, especially after kind of being traumatized by Hillary’s loss and Trumps win. My life will go on. I’ll continue to make my little corner of the world a happy, peaceful place.

Love and light, all.