The other night, Thursday night, I was awakened at about 1 in the morning by my smoke alarm in my bedroom going off. Three loud alarms. I was awake and had the light on in seconds. It stopped as soon as I was awake. There was no smoke, and no more alarms. I sat there for a moment, just staring at it, wondering why it went off. Finally, upon realizing there was no fire anywhere, I went back to sleep, because I was exhausted.

However, the experience has stayed with me. Now I am wondering if it wasn’t one of those dreams which have seemed so real to me, visitation dreams. I have had 4 of them, in the last couple years, all of them around Scott. The first was before we broke up, and made me happy. The 2^nd and the 3^rd were after we broke up because of Betty, and he came to me, and got mad at me for being jealous of Betty. He had tried, unsuccessfully then, to get me to still see him even though he was with her, in real life. In the dream, I made him leave. All three of these dreams, when I awakened, I could smell him, taste him, feel his heat in my bed. Hear the sound of my slider opening and him coming up the stairs. The last one was last fall, when his ringer on the phone went off, and I woke to having the phone in my hand, looking for a missed call, but there was wasn’t one.

All of these, were not like normal dreams. They were real, and a medium tells me they were visitations, not dreams, and I believe her, because they were so not like normal dreams. And I believe her because I can just feel it. He and I have always, since before we actually met, (we messaged for about 3 months first, because he was sick from chemo) had a very intense soul connection. Even Betty remarked how it bothered him how well I saw him. Well, I’ve known him many lifetimes, I’m sure. I should know him well.

So I’m thinking that the smoke alarm going off was the same thing. It was some kind of visitation, of something or someone. But why a smoke alarm? What was the message? Does it have to do with the twin flame thing? Is it about him? Since all of these dreams, visitations, were him, why would this be any different? I’ve never had a dream like these except about him. But maybe it wasn’t about him?

It was real enough to make me want to make sure he’s ok. But then, my head takes over and tells me not to do it, that I know better. That it would not be a good thing in the long run. And that he’s fine, just fine, and would get an ego boost out of me still being concerned. I will not do it. I will not contact him and open that door again. Anyway, he would deny it, as he has denied my other dreams. “I did NOT come to you.” Of course, not in the physical sense. I am not delusional. But our souls communicate on levels we cannot possibly understand in human terms and I know that those things happened, really, on some level.

So, I’m guessing that this was some kind of communication. The smoke alarm has been fine since, the battery is fine. It is not beeping the dead battery sound. There is no indication at all that it really went off in the physical world. Maybe at some point the communication will be made clear to me, maybe not. I need to just file it away under “Inexplicable occurrences”.

I have to accept that he and I are connected in a way that is unusual, but real. No matter who I am with, there will always be an undercurrent of him, buzzing in my psyche. I’ve said I will always love him, but that I can love someone else just as much. Someone who won’t hurt me, won’t play games with me. I’ve maybe found that man. I’ll find out in the coming weeks.

This post is mostly to help me figure out what went on then. To work it through. It probably sounds crazy to people who are not into energy, and soul travel and past lives.

Love and light, thanks for reading.

Beautiful morning, sitting outside with the sun just up for an hour, making long shadows across the deck. Yesterday it was too cold to sit out here comfortably with a temp in the low to mid 50’s. But today it’s in the mi 60’s, and is utterly pleasant, despite the heavy equipment sound coming from the transfer station across the street. There is an almost dust settling on everything from the oak trees. I think that perhaps that’s what I’m allergic to. This particular kind of oak is called a “Live Oak”. Which causes some confusion for us northerners. We want to say, “I know it’s live, but what kind of oak is it?” And the answer is always the same. “Live oak.” It’s a southern thing, lol. But they are much different from the oaks up north. More rambling, smaller leaves. Bigger allergies, lol.

I had so much fun with my friends yesterday. We read through my one friends entire play, it was so much fun, I actually was getting into it by the end. I have no experience at all, none, zero, zilch, with drama, outside of going to watch it. All of the other 4 girls do. So, I took the parts with the lowest number of lines but really had fun getting into the spirit of it all. It is based on Dostoevsky’s short story, “Uncle’s Dream” and is actually pretty funny! Who knew? I had only ever read Dostoevsky’s “Crime and Punishment” in college, and decided it would probably be the first and last of his books for me.

My friend who wrote it taught acting at a private school in Tampa for years until she retired. She acts as well, and has a lot of other creative endeavors. She is so funny! Love her sense of humor, and she and I are always on the same page politically. She went to a rally at our congressman’s office, Charlie Christ. (He’s a democrat.) She said she saw young people walking down the street who weren’t part of the rally and she yelled to them, “You should be here! You have a lot more to lose than we do!” Because she was disturbed that most of the people there were like her, retired women. She’s right, we need to somehow get the youth involved in this, or the world they inherit from us, won’t be what we hope for them.

Another of my friends is transgender, transing from a man to a woman. She is smart, and so so funny, and so up front about herself. We all love her to death. I’ve been told that she at first had a hard time being accepted. She has told me that she had to do what she’s done, or she’d be dead by now. For me, it’s been easy to accept her because I never knew her as a man, and because a good friend of mine from high school, who dated one of my best friends for 2 years then, has been living as a woman for a very long time, more than a decade.

This morning I intend to go for a walk by the water, stop at the town hall to try to get the permit for my shed, and then perhaps go to the Veterans Art Center to help my friend get the art back up on the walls, some of which had been taken down and brought to our fundraiser Friday night.

I love a busy day, busy with things I love. So much nicer than working. Especially when the air is a dry 80°. Perfect.

Love and light, everyone.

Weathered cottages

Idle trawlers tied to pier

Menemsha summer

Menemsha is a working fishing village on the island of Martha’s Vineyard.  It is one of my favorite places on earth.

By Deborah E. Dayen

Picture from Google Images

Last night just before I went to bed, I checked FB and found out about the banning of many respected news outlets from the White House press briefing. Needless to say, it blew my mind.

This is one of the scariest things he’s done yet. It’s what all dictators do first, disallow free press. Suppress freedom of speech. There’s a reason that it is our FIRST amendment.

What I thought though finally, in the middle of the night, is, he won’t get away with this in this country. Already a couple of news outlets that had been allowed refused to go because of his actions. The Washington Post just declined to send anyone.

The news actually has the bully pulpit here. They deliver to us what we need to know, and we can wade through it and decide for ourselves what is truthful. tRump already has a HUGE crediblity problem in this country. If the press works together, as it seems they will, they can outdo the orange one. I know they are competitive and all that, but I think a free press outweighs any desire to be on top, at least for most journalists.

I think it’s hysterical that Cheetoman is not going to the White House Correspondents Dinner. What a lily-livered chicken he is. I am hoping and praying that they allow Alec Baldwin to stand in for him. I would stay up to watch that! I’m not surprised that tRump won’t go though. Not at all. He’s thinned skinned, he has no sense of humor. I think the press will have a ball with him at this dinner, in his absence.

But, I think he will respond, by doing something else that is just unthinkable, or was until his election, in this country, just to prove he’s the top dog. So watch out….be prepared.

In other news, I have developed an allergy to something down here in the last two weeks. I’ve never had them before, but I am taking allergy meds every day now to stop the sneezing and itchng. I have no idea what I’m allergic to. Oh well, I could have worse problems.

My friends are due here at 2, to read through a play one of them wrote. That should be fun. The friend who wrote it thinks she will get me over my stage fright to read it at open mic night. Never say never, but that seems a real long shot at the moment, lol, though who knows it might be fun. I’ll see how today goes.

I got a text from L when he got to Ohio yesterday, letting me know he got there safe and sound, which was nice especially since he was just being considerate. I had not asked him to do that, he just did it. I know I need to stop being so hypervigilant with him.  It’s a habit I’ve had to keep for so many years, but for the first time, I can see it coming and remind myself that L is not like the others.

That’s it for now. Love and light, everyone.

I wanted to do a piece on the color of water.  So I went through my pics and got a few from New England, and then a few from Florida.  All beautiful. All different.

This picture was taken at East Beach, Rhode Island in March.  It was freezing out but this man was having such a good time frolicking in the frigid water.  He told us he swam at least once in every month.  The ocean was beautiful that day. It’s kind of a greenish color up north, at least along the shore.  Doesn’t get blue til you get pretty far offshore.  It’s reflecting the sky here, so is blue blue.

This picture is of the mouth of the Thames River in New London.  I was standing at the end of the dock where my slip is located.  The water is brackish, meaning it’s part salt and part fresh, and usually a little brown. The visibility on a good day lets you see 15 miles south to Montauk NY.

This picture is taken from Harkness Memorial Park, which was fairly close to me in CT.  It’s a 230 acre state park on Long Island sound, with water on 3 sides.  It was a beautiful day that day, and the water took on the color of the sky.  Lots of memories in that park.

And so,  we move South.

This picture is Coquina Beach on Anna Maria Island, one of the “West Coast Keys.” I was near the parking lot, looking over the dune. The water is really that color.

This is a “groin” recently installed on the beaches down here to prevent sand erosion.  They make great fishing piers.  And kids love to jump off of them.  I think the color of the water, that deep turqoise, is due to the white sandy bottom under it.

This is late day sun on Longboat Key beach.  The color retreats to blue from turquoise as the sun goes down.  Looks like low tide.

I hope you enjoyed my pictorial essay on the color of water. I have lots more pics, but narrowed it down so it wouldn’t take too much of my WP storage.

Love and light.

This morning I took what I consider to be a daring leap, in the relationship with L. I called him and left a voice mail, saying, “Hi L. It’s Deb. We are having a hard time connecting on the phone, so I’m just going to go out on a limb and ask you to let me know when you can come over here for dinner.”

Because, it was true, that was why. I want to push through these intangibles, and I want to skip a second date at a restaurant. I want to be able to just sit and talk with him, undistracted, and give us a chance to get to know each other better. Since we have both expressed that we’d like to do that.

He called me back shortly after, and said he would love to, but he has to throw a wrench in things because he has to go back to Ohio in the morning, an early flight. For about a week. It has to do with a property he and his kids are buying and making sure the renovations are completed for the tenant to move in on Wednesday. He’ll be back next weekend.

I am fine with that. I had a big fundraiser tonight, I have the girls coming over Sunday, I have oral surgery Thursday….lots of stuff going on.

We talked for a long time. He made me laugh, a lot. He likes to do that, to make me laugh, and I love a man who can make me laugh, as you know probably. We talked too, about our relationship and where we are both at. It seems we are in similar positions. We both have a good life, and family and friends, and we both like each other a lot and want to see each other.

So it’s all good. I am so happy I called and left that message. I told him when he gets back, I will make him dinner then.

I had a nice time with my sister and my “step-niece” as she calls herself. She loved my town, kept saying she wanted to move here, lol. It was such a nice day out too. Nice enough that I wore a new sleeveless dress to the fundraiser tonight. And the fundraiser was great, we made a lot of money for the Veterans Art Center.

It’s been a really good day. Feeling very happy and blessed, as usual.

Love and light.TAkin