A Few Words on Manifesting Your (and My) Life

Yesterday I spent the afternoon walking around the center of my little town, Gulfport, with my sister and her step-daughter, or as she calls herself, my step-niece. She’s a lovely woman, around 50. She’s had two battles with breast cancer, and a double mastectomy and has fibromyalgia, but her attitude is so positive and upbeat. She is a smart, happy woman.

When I walk around town with someone who has never been here before, I get to see the town through their eyes. Not that I take any of it for granted yet, but I do get used to seeing the building at the end of Beach Blvd, on the water, with a big sign over it, “Gulfport Casino” which is not a casino now, but a dance hall. This town is so “old” Florida. No high-rises, old Florida bungalows, old brick streets in many places. I took them to the marina district, and drove past Clam Bayou, a nature preserve which is on the edge of backwaters of the bay. It’s a great place for kayaking, and fishermen love it. There are some fishing piers built out into the water. I’ve been there, and watched fish leaping out of the water.

My sis and “step-niece” love my little town. It’s such a well-kept secret, and such a creative, liberal enclave here. My sis and I found, in a little store called the Beach Bazaar (which also houses a post office, lol) a bucket of driftwood, perfect for painting signs on. My sis has a wooden sign over her own back door to her deck which says “Scatter Kindness” and I’ve always loved it. So I bought a piece of driftwood, with the intention to paint my own sign on it for my back door, and carried it around town with me.

We were laughing because so many people stopped me on the street and asked me where I got it. My niece said, “Now you know how to meet people, lol. Just carry a piece of driftwood around.” I found out one lady who stopped me was from Fairfield CT, and was staying in Indian Rocks which is another beach community about a half hour away. She really wants to move here though. When she stopped me she said it reminded her of a sign one of her relatives had over their shop in Block Island, which is how we got into the conversation. Block Island was one of my favorite boating destinations. I have had a lot of fun over there.

My niece said it was amazing how quickly I’ve blended in with this community, and become part of it. I’ve been here just 5 months, so I guess she’s right. This morning I was thinking about that, and wondered why it was so easy for me. I think it’s like many things in my life, I just dreamed about it, consistently, imagining it happening. Imagining living in a place like this, in a small but cute house close to the water, in a creative town, meeting and hanging out with fun and very creative people. I did that all the time, as soon as the fact became apparent to me that I could move to a warmer place, near family, and never deal with winter again.

Manifestation. That’s what I did. I dreamed about it, and it manifested. Just like I dreamed about and manifested my son living with me and being free of his father. Just like I dreamed about and manifested my beautiful home in CT. And maybe, I’ve yet to know this for sure, I’ve manifested the kind of man I have wanted to have in my life. Maybe I’ve dreamed about that sufficiently and in enough detail that he’s shown up in my life. I do know if L is not that man, that I will meet him. I’ve got a good feeling about L though. 🙂

So this is the moral of this story, lol. What you think about is what you will manifest in your life. Thoughts are things, and like attracts like. It’s just the law of attraction, a real physical law. It’s what Rhonda Byrne wrote The Secret about. If you wish good things on everyone, and yourself, you will manifest good things for yourself. I truly believe that. You will get what you think about.

It works in reverse, too, which is why there is no neutral position with this law. My ex dreamed about ruining me financially, ruining my relationship with my son, and tried very hard at both of those things. The Universe (or whatever name you have for the greater consciousness) only hears the desire. It doesn’t then make the second step to how you want it for someone else. So….what he did is manifest his own ruin financially. And the ruin of his relationship with our son. It is sad to me, for many reasons, but I’ve discussed that at length in other blogs, and it’s way too much to add to this one. Suffice to say, it would have been nice to get to this point in my life with a life-partner, with someone I’d known since I was 18. But it didn’t happen. So, I am working on manifesting the rest of my life in such a way as it is happy, and rich, and full and loving.

So far so good.

Just remember, in the words of Mike Dooley (www.tut.com) who is a contributor to the book The Secret, “Thoughts become things. So think the good ones!”

Love and light, everyone.

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A conversation

Sitting in silence, in my small, old, adorable bungalow, thoughts run through my mind of what was, and is no more, and what is, and what will be. Observing the journey is all.

I think about the conversation I had with my close male friend last night on what’s happening in the world, and why it so triggered an emotional response from me. His calm, loving, focused care of me as I explained to him how much I have been reminded of my ex, and how last weekend I so felt that darkness over me again. When I told him, in a very abbreviated way, about my marriage, he asked, “What did you do when that happened?” (My ex just going off on me or my son for any random thing, just to cause chaos.) I said, “Usually I just got quiet, because to say anything just made it worse.” He nodded. Then I said, “But eventually, what I did was leave him…..” And he smiled. Because he saw that I realized that I actually didn’t let my ex kill me. That I took my own power back.

Now, I think how if I ever complained to my ex about anything, like I was sick and felt awful, even when I was in labor (!) he would have to make sure he told me how much worse he had had it than me. That I still didn’t know what pain really was. (I was trying to give birth to a 10lb. 15 oz. Child, 22 1/2” long, who was posterior. No, not much pain there…..idiot.) Always he had more, he was worse off, my pain or whatever I felt or experienced was negated.

You learn not to say anything, because you will feel worse.

With S, he always would say, “Whine whine whine….” as if I was just making up something to bitch about. Never wanted to listen to my troubles. Could never extend an ounce of empathy toward me. Because it was all about himself, always and forever. I guess I thought that was an improvement from the treatment I got from my ex. S was just telling me to forget about it, I guess, it wasn’t important. Even though it apparently was, or I wouldn’t have said anything. I was looking for support, he couldn’t give it so told me to forget it. Stop whining, as if I were a petulant child. Now I see who the petulant child was though.

I can already tell that L would be there if I needed him to be. He would not negate my feelings or emotions, by telling me his problems were worse, or that mine didn’t matter, minimizing my feelings, so I should move on. He’s much more like my friend that I talked with last night. We may not be on the exact same page politically, but I feel, at least right now, and it’s very early to even go here, that he would not negate my feelings, and try to make his dominant.

Once I let my friend last night know how I dealt with the triggering (by taking a couple of days off, walking, meditating, reading) and got myself centered again, and grounded in unconditional love, looked at me and said, “It’s insanity. What’s going on is just insanity.” His first action was to make sure I was ok, then he expressed his feelings on it. I knew we were on the same page about it anyway, we have had a lot of close conversation about our beliefs and feelings.

He’s a gift to me, really. He is quite a bit older than me, and married to a woman who is in a convalescent home with the final stages of Alzheimer’s. He is loyal and faithful to her, a trait which I totally admire in him. I think we serve each other well. He reminds me what I really want in a partner, and shows me how amazing it could be. I imagine being physically intimate with a man who can communicate, and feel empathy the way he does, and know I will not settle for less. I think I also offer him the companionship of a woman, and the sweet, intimate conversations he misses with his wife.

So many blessings, and so many lessons I’ve learned. So many gifts I’ve been given. I have to remember that in the end, I believe tRump will be his own worst enemy. I know he’s going to cause a great deal of pain and hardship in this country, maybe the world, before he is driven from power. I’ve never experienced growth on any scale, without pain. But in the end, he’ll be gone, impeached, or imprisoned, or at least not re-elected, or maybe even worse. The world will right itself again. I believe what you think about expands. My ex thought only about making me penniless, and ruining my relationship with my son. I thought only about having a beautiful home with my son. My ex ended up penniless, and has no relationship with my son. He attracted to himself what he wished for me. The universe only hears the wish….not where it’s directed. I ended up with a beautiful home, and a close relationship with my son. I don’t wish ill on anyone, not even tRump. Meaning I wish he would see the light, and become someone who could stand up for it, but I don’t wish him dead or any other ill. I wish love and freedom for us all. That’s what I want to manifest, so that’s what I’ll focus my thoughts on.

Enough philosophy, lol. Time to get another cup of coffee. Love and light, all.

Really Settling In

Wow! Four nights of good sleep in a row, without any sleep aid. Last night was the best yet! 8 hours, with only one wake up for about a half hour. Awesome! So what is allowing me to sleep so well?

I think that I’ve let old things that caused me anxiety just go. I don’t wake up wondering about them any more, or even caring about them. New things, happy things, have come into my life, and when I wake up, I think of them and go back to sleep. I think I’m finally settling into my new life, and feeling comfortable here.  I am remembering that I named this house Avalon, a mystical place of new beginnings.  There was so much I wanted to let go of from my old life, and so much more I wanted to bring in with my new life.  It’s all happening.  I see that the journey from there to here was the way it was purposefully, bringing me to a much better, happier, fulfilling place.

For instance, tonight is open mic night. Both the friends I usually go with have been sick with bad colds, so I don’t know if either of them will go with me. But I am comfortable enough to go alone, because I know there will be people there that will be happy to include me. I have a circle of people here, and it’s a huge comfort to me, to have a base.

The big work on my house is mostly done now. I still have tree trimming and a shed to put up, but that’s not big stuff. No more workers in my house all day. I have to go curtain shopping for the windows now. The shades I bought will not work with the new windows, so I have to take them back and get something else. Right now my bedroom windows have tablecloths over them, and the living room has towels, lol. I’m going to re-install the blinds I had in the living room, they are fine for the living room. I had the same ones in my bedroom, but they let too much light in. I wanted the better shades I bought, but they won’t work. I think I’ll have to go for room darkening curtains. But that’s ok too. Whatever it takes.

When I was moving furniture yesterday away from the windows, the mirror on my dresser, big heavy mirror, fell off. Apparently the movers had stripped the holes where the screws went. So now I will need help getting it back up. I’m sure my handyman will help me with that. Thank God the mirror did not break. But it so aggravated me that the movers just left it like that.

I’m going to get going early this morning. To take back the shades, to look for curtains and a few other errands. I want to take a good long walk on the beach today. Tomorrow it’s going to get cold. Well, cold for here, lol. High of 60. By Sunday it will be back to 80, happily.

Lots of good things happening. I still pinch myself every day, I’m so amazed that I have this wonderful life here. Just so blessed, so lucky. When my sister and I were shopping, we were waiting in line to pay. She remarked that it was 3 PM. I said, “Oh good, we will have time to get into the hot tub for awhile and have a glass of wine before we go down to sunset.” Then I looked at her, hearing myself, and said, “It’s a rough life isn’t it? LOL.” She said “Thank you for reminding me…..” We both know how lucky we are.

Love and light, everyone.