Tag Archives: energy

Some Things Need to End, So Others Can Begin

Posted on by learning to live like water

It’s been a quiet day for me on this blog. I had a bunch of stuff that was unresolved, didn’t want to really blog about it. Stuff that’s been rolling around for a few days, maybe even 2 weeks. Anyway, I’ve been bombarded by some energetic stuff lately, and it was making me a little crazy. So I talked to my good friend who is a medium, and a psychic, and Karuna II Reiki master, Tarot card reader. It’s how she makes a living. I have known her about 8 or 9 years, we are close. This morning, instead of writing, I asked her for a reading on some of the issues I was having. We talked for over an hour, and she refused to charge me.

The rest of the day, I spent sorting out the information I got. It’s very personal, I can’t go into it here, but I’ll just say that I felt relieved and melancholy when we were done. What she said made perfect sense to me. And the overall message was, stay the course. Stay it with my personal life, with my creativity, with the way I am creating my life down here. And also acceptance of what is, and nurturing myself.

She also talked about how it’s the new moon Thursday. I knew it was soon, had lost track of the fact that it is Thursday. Time to set new intentions. Especially this month. January is of course a 1, the first month. The year, 2017, also reduces to a 1. 1’s are new beginnings, time to start new projects, new relationships. So a good part of my day has been spend creating a list of intentions. I told her I was going to write them down.

Speaking of relationships, last night I sent a text to the man I had lunch with yesterday, thanking him for the lunch and the laughs, telling him I had a lot of fun and look forward to doing it again. This morning I got a text from him with his correct phone number. He’d told me he would do that, since the phone he’d been using was not his, his had been being repaired. Then when I got to my sisters, he called me, after asking in a text if he could. So sweet, well mannnered. But funny!!! OMG, we laughed the whole time. We seem to get each other’s sense of humor. Anyway, it was a nice surprise, to have him call.

I got to my sisters about 3:45. We went in the pool which was at 90. It was not real warm today, probably in the low 70’s. But the pool was nice. And we spent a long time in her hot tub with a glass of red wine! LOL. It’s a rough life, lol. I made a pot roast in the crock pot yesterday and brought it with me, so we didn’t have to cook dinner, we just heated it up. It was delicious!!!

So, life is still good. I’m enjoying my sister and brother-in-law, it’s been about 3 weeks maybe since I’ve seen them. Feeling my mother’s presence so much today. Interesting day, and a good one. Many things I need to put to rest, so I can move forward with the new moon. I think I can do it now.

Love and light, all.

Overcoming HyperVigilance

Posted on by learning to live like water

In the morning, I generally meditate for 15-20 minutes. I use guided meditations, they just seem to help me keep my mind clear of the noise, or at least, bring me back to mindfulness when I stray. I have noticed that I am often leaning toward the sounds, either from my computer or my phone. I can’t remember the name for this, EET? Electronic Energy Transfer? Maybe.

I remember when I was attuned for my level 3 Reiki. The teacher had me sitting in a chair and was playing a crystal bowl in front of me, and another in back of me. This is possible, because the circular sound continues, even after your stop playing the bowl, so she’d move from one to the other. I was in a pretty deep meditative state, and I remember finding myself leaning forward and then back, kind of in a circle with the sound, as she moved from one to the other, and each became dominant in turn. My eyes were closed, I was not paying attention to her movements. But I remember leaning into the energy.

Same thing with my meditation out of an electronic source. However….the crystal bowl is simply vibration, created from a human effort on pure crystal. The electronic energy is a man-made phenomena, and I wonder if it is good for me, actually.  Whenever I went to a gong bath, they asked us to shut our phones off, so that the phones would not be searching for an electronic vibration.

I guess it’s ok because I always feel more centered and grounded after it. But certainly not as I did back in the days when I used to get to the gong baths regularly, or a meditation group, where a person led us. I think I need to find that again.

It’s always a better, deeper meditation if I can sit outside. I haven’t been able to ngo outside in the early morning lately, because it’s been cold in Florida the last few days. Hopefully I’ll be able to get outside again by the end of the week. Nature always allows me to get to a deep space that calms and frees me.

I am beginning to let go of the hypervigilance that has been a part of my life for so long. I had to be hypervigilant in my marriage, to stay safe, and keep my son safe. I needed to stay a step ahead of his father, if I could. And with S, I was also hypervigilant, constantly trying to discern what was truth and what was a lie.

None of it matters now. I met a man who I don’t think is capable of a lie, any more than I am. And I have no need to be hypervigilant of those who are in my past any more. It’s a very peaceful, wonderful feeling. Not to be searching for that which can hurt you, because none of it can.

Still, I find it interesting how the energy vibrations can physically move me. I have found myself at times in the last few weeks, moved to hypervigilance unconsciously. Not realizing it until I was there. And then having to make my way back to my happy place. It became a habit.

I do trust my gut. I do think that if I find myself somehow becoming hypervigilant that there is probably an energy extending toward me, causing it. But I believe now, I can just send it back. It’s a vibration, temporary, and will dissipate, once I recognize it. Because I’m a reiki practitioner, I am very aware of the ability of energy to cover miles, 1000’s of miles, instantaneously. Because with some people I’m an empath, that energy can get amplified. But I’m beginning to understand. I don’t need to get caught up in it, or stressed out over it. Just recognize it, honor it, and let it go.

Life continues to be rich and full here. I am excited to spend time with Tim again, next weekend. I’m very excited to see my girlfriends from high school. I am so happy that my life has turned out this way. The lessons learned have not been in vain.

Love and light, all.

Haiku No. 129: Ancient Connection (4 parts)

Posted on by learning to live like water

connection2

Imperceptible
Except to her, she could feel
His torment, or joy.

It ran through her soul
Igniting threads, erratic
But never-ending.

Most days she ignored
The twinkling showers of sparks
Some days were blinding.

Honor connection
It is ancient, and holy
She’s known him, always.

A Little More Insight into Those Dreams

Posted on by learning to live like water

dreams gibran

I was so tired today that I stopped the housework for an hour or so, and sat on my deck in my zero-gravity chair in the sunlight and just napped. It was wonderful. Visions of Florida in my head. A few other thoughts too, but all just passing. I wasn’t asleep, I wasn’t awake.

Suddenly, I remembered something important about the dreams the other night. (Dreaming the Night Away) The one about the tunnel. The tunnel  started after exit 12 on the highway that I take to work, and was ending at exit 11, when I was blocked.

The house I live in now is #12. The house I’m moving to in FL is 5105, which reduces to 11. I had noticed it, and one of the women I met while I was there, looked at it and said, this house is an 11.  (Eleven is a master number, and not reduced to two in numerology.)

Eleven is a very powerful number. Remember the date 11-11-11? Energy workers everywhere talking about the energy that was around that day. The first world war ended at 11:11 am on November 11. Here is what Doreen Virtue says about 11:

If you continually see the numbers 11, 111, or 1111, there’s a reason. The most common way that angels communicate with humans is through the universal languages of numbers and music. 

The ancient Greek philosopher Pythagoras was the first to establish that numbers hold vibrational properties.  He taught that the entire universe is mathematically precise.

When you see repetitive number sequences, this is a message from your guardian angels. You can ask your angels what they are trying to tell you, and if you listen in stillness, you will hear their answers clearly. Sometimes, though, if you’re stressed or in a hurry, it’s not as easy to hear your angels.

So, Angel Numbers are a shorthand code between you and your angels. In the case of 1’s, they represent the post of an energy gateway. The more 1s you see, the stronger the path is.

In practical terms, this means that your thoughts are going through a cycle where they are manifesting instantly into form. You think it, and boom! It happens. When these cycles occur, it’s extra important to keep your thoughts focused upon your desires, and to stay positive. Otherwise, your fears may manifest instantly. You can ask Heaven to uplift you, so that your thoughts are focused upon the highest possibilities.

Another site, http://www.whats-your-sign.com/spiritual-meaning-of-numbers.html, says that One primarily deals with strong will, positivity, pure energy. The number One reflects new beginnings, and purity. The symbolic meaning of number One is further clarified when we understand One represents both kinds of action: physical and mental. This combined with Ones urgency for new beginnings, we begin to see Ones recurring in our lives indicates a time to exert our natural forces, take action, and start a new venture. One encourages us our action will be rewarded in kind.

Things are beginning to make sense. Now is the right time for me to be selling and moving. Things are happening fast. I’m going to say that this house in FL has manifested about as quickly as buying a house could. A month after going to just check out the market, I will own a home there.  Hopefully the sale of this house will follow suit, and happen quickly and easily. (If I EVER get it ready.)

I see that there is energy trying to block me from the gateway, and force me backwards. I have felt it, attaching to me, trying to draw me backwards on some level. The dream shows me even more reason to let go of the past….because it holds me back, from going through the gateway that is my path. I have felt more and more creative energy, the more I have let go. I believe that’s my path. I believe the dream showed me how I have been held back by not letting go. That which would stop me, is welcome to join me, but not to hinder me in anyway. Nor, would I hinder anyone’s creativity who wanted to join me.

I think it was good insight, given to me by the the Universe, to better understand where I’m going and why.

I love these little messages. I love feeling and seeing the insight that the Universe gives us on our path. Makes me a lot more confident that I am headed down the path that will take me where I want to go.

Kinda cool.

Love and light.

 

Energetic Discomfort This Morning

Posted on by learning to live like water

 

energy cordsI am feeling an attempt to energetically cord me again this morning, despite my deleting the song, despite my determination to stay on the road I’m on.  It’s irritating.

I find myself feeling negative emotions for no reason.  Unsettledness in my solar plexus and sacral chakras, which is always where I feel it.  I am determined to send it back where it came from.

I’m not sure it’s intentional.  It’s probably not. In fact, I doubt the sender is even cognizant of the fact that it’s being sent. But it doesn’t matter, it’s here this morning, and it disrupted my sleep last night.  Time to do reiki, I think.  Time to do a gratitude meditation. Time to cut the cords, once more. Time to make space for the positive emotions to take over and crowd this crap out.

I have no idea what’s happening at the source of this energetic cord.  Nor do I want to know.  I think the whole point of it is to encourage me to find out.  But I don’t want to know.  It’s of no purpose, it brings nothing to my life but magnification of negativity that manages to stretch across the miles to me.

I hold no grudge about it, I have no anger. I wish no ill on this person.  I wish for them all good things.  I understand that the person at the other end of this energetic cord that is trying to wrap around me is doing the best they can from the level of consciousness.  I forgive, because of that.  I am done with that chapter of my life.  I just want to be left alone by this person, on every level.

So much nicer to have my son’s laughing energy when I wake up.  I’m going to get back to that place, and send this energy on it’s way, back to the source, out to the Universe to atone for everyone’s highest good.

Love and light, everyone.

Don’t Look Back

Posted on by learning to live like water

don't look back

Maybe I tried too hard to dig down and let stuff go last night, because he’s been in my head all day. Not all good, not all bad, just is there. It could be just those bottom layers, coming up, needing to be sat with before they will depart for good. IDK. You’d think with all the work, and cord cutting he’d be gone from me. It scares me to think I may never be rid of this connection with him.

I’m cleaning the house, and once again, ridding it of things that remind me of him. I need to put away the prism light he gave me, taken out when he came to see the day after my mother died. I was so bereft, and he offered, and I was so glad to see him, and have him here. His presence was comforting, and sweet, and caring. We didn’t intend to do what we did, but I guess it’s’ just how we are. I remember putting my hands over my face, wondering what I was doing, but not stopping. It felt like I was undoing some of the torture from the way we ended last October. I remember not wanting him to leave.

I have to put away the coaster I put back on his side of my bed, taken out when he spent the night here a few days later. And used again, a few days after that.

Small things…..that’s all I have are small things. Except memories. None of them are small enough.

I wasn’t looking for a commitment. I knew he was confused, hell, I was SO confused, and he professed to love her but be mad at her for “running”, after telling him she could deal with whatever was in my blogs. She couldn’t, not many women could. I told him that. I was just happy to be with him. We felt close, he confided so much in me, I talked him down, I made him see that all might not be lost. I probably also thought, how much could he love her, if he’s in my bed a week after she leaves him? But never said so, I didn’t want to know the answer. I was in the moment, I loved him, I wanted nothing but his happiness, and to be with him. I saw him in pain over her, and tried to help. It wasn’t even hard to do. We pledged our close friendship always.

And then he turned on me, when she found out that the following weekend I’d spent it at his house with him. He’d already said he wanted to cool it between us, he needed time to think. I was ok with that. But I wasn’t ok when he found out she was hurt by it, and said he hadn’t wanted me there. That I was pushing. That was so untrue, that was such an attempt to rewrite history. He wanted me there, just like he wanted to come up here the week before. 3 times in a week. Even that day, that he found out that she knew. Hours before that he’d asked me to call him and wake him from a nap. So, I did, and he kept saying how he wished I was there. To negate that there was something between us, because she was hurt, was so disingenuous, so hurtful, such a betrayal, again. It wasn’t all lust. We spent hours talking, literally hours. More than ever before. Every night, texting in the day, and suddenly he’s telling me I was pushing and he didn’t want me there. It angered me more than hurt me, because I had no expectations of a future with him. I’m moving, he’s a mess….I just didn’t expect him to disown whatever it was that we had. It wasn’t what he had with her, but it was something. It meant something to both of us.

So, today, I will put these things away. I’ll get out my sage smudge sticks and cleanse the energy in the house, and also around me. Someone told me to ask for my aura to be protected from his energy, so I’ll do that too.

I’m going out with a friend tonight. Food, drinks, a band. It will be good to be around people, it will bring me back to this moment, the present moment. To the good life that I have. I’ll remember how little joy there is with him, in the long run, it always ends up being painful, I always end up hurt. I will walk, not run, away. Just walk at my own pace, there’s nothing chasing me, even though I’ve been looking over my shoulder, wondering. I need to remember there’s no joy in the place I’m walking away from. So stop looking back.

Cleaning House, Frozen Pipes….UGH.

Posted on by learning to live like water

I spent my day off more or less productively.  I got done what I’d said I would.  Got my two spare bedrooms cleaned, and my hallway carpet.  I found a bag full of clothes in my size that hadn’t fit me, and I had stuffed them away “for when they fit”.  LOL.  Always the plan, to get into these smaller clothes at some point.  Well, I took them out and I found a new pair of pants, two pairs of shorts, and two shirts and a jacket that fit.  Cool….Most of them still had tags on them!

And I made some cookies.  They are called “pecan clouds” and are basically meringue stuffed with pecans.  One of my and my son’s favorite cookies.  Not a ton of sugar, but really good.  If you like pecans.

Now I’m having a drink.  The energy spike about his health comes and goes, but I’ve gotten some assistance with it, which is greatly appreciated.

It’s been so frigid here for the last 2 days. Lows well below 0, highs in the 10’s.    The pipes to my washing machine are inside a common wall with the garage which is not heated, and have frozen.  I thawed them out with the hair dryer, ran a load of laundry, and they froze again.  So, thawing them again. It should warm up enough tonight that they won’t do it anymore.

And it’s snowing again, and going to change to rain, which will freeze.  The temp tomorrow will be 70° higher than yesterday.  WTF.

Fun.  Winter fun.  It’s a chapter in my book, “Why I want to live in Florida”.  LOL.

 

Connection

Posted on by learning to live like water

This is the quest, is it not?  To connect in a heart-felt, whole-hearted, deep way with other people, with other souls.  It is the reason behind almost everything we do.  Brene Brown has her finger on the pulse of this.  So I’m putting up some of the things she has to say about it.

connection

 

conncection energy

Everything is energy, different levels, different vibrations.  I believe the energy of connection is one of the highest levels that we as spiritual beings having a human experience, can achieve.

And finally…..

spiritulity