Some Things Need to End, So Others Can Begin

It’s been a quiet day for me on this blog. I had a bunch of stuff that was unresolved, didn’t want to really blog about it. Stuff that’s been rolling around for a few days, maybe even 2 weeks. Anyway, I’ve been bombarded by some energetic stuff lately, and it was making me a little crazy. So I talked to my good friend who is a medium, and a psychic, and Karuna II Reiki master, Tarot card reader. It’s how she makes a living. I have known her about 8 or 9 years, we are close. This morning, instead of writing, I asked her for a reading on some of the issues I was having. We talked for over an hour, and she refused to charge me.

The rest of the day, I spent sorting out the information I got. It’s very personal, I can’t go into it here, but I’ll just say that I felt relieved and melancholy when we were done. What she said made perfect sense to me. And the overall message was, stay the course. Stay it with my personal life, with my creativity, with the way I am creating my life down here. And also acceptance of what is, and nurturing myself.

She also talked about how it’s the new moon Thursday. I knew it was soon, had lost track of the fact that it is Thursday. Time to set new intentions. Especially this month. January is of course a 1, the first month. The year, 2017, also reduces to a 1. 1’s are new beginnings, time to start new projects, new relationships. So a good part of my day has been spend creating a list of intentions. I told her I was going to write them down.

Speaking of relationships, last night I sent a text to the man I had lunch with yesterday, thanking him for the lunch and the laughs, telling him I had a lot of fun and look forward to doing it again. This morning I got a text from him with his correct phone number. He’d told me he would do that, since the phone he’d been using was not his, his had been being repaired. Then when I got to my sisters, he called me, after asking in a text if he could. So sweet, well mannnered. But funny!!! OMG, we laughed the whole time. We seem to get each other’s sense of humor. Anyway, it was a nice surprise, to have him call.

I got to my sisters about 3:45. We went in the pool which was at 90. It was not real warm today, probably in the low 70’s. But the pool was nice. And we spent a long time in her hot tub with a glass of red wine! LOL. It’s a rough life, lol. I made a pot roast in the crock pot yesterday and brought it with me, so we didn’t have to cook dinner, we just heated it up. It was delicious!!!

So, life is still good. I’m enjoying my sister and brother-in-law, it’s been about 3 weeks maybe since I’ve seen them. Feeling my mother’s presence so much today. Interesting day, and a good one. Many things I need to put to rest, so I can move forward with the new moon. I think I can do it now.

Love and light, all.

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Mercury Retrograde?? NOW? Come on….

I just saw on FB that Mercury went retrograde yesterday. I checked, www.ismercuryinretrograde.com, and yes, it will be that way until Sept. 22. When Mercury is in retrograde the site says, “Yes, that may account for the weirdness….”

If you are unaware of what it means, astrologically Mercury governs communication and intellect. When it’s in retrograde, communication of all types can become difficult.  Decisions can be harder to make.

This concerns me, because Mercury retrograde is not a good time to start anything new. And…I and my son are starting EVERYTHING new during this time. New lives, new places to live, he a new job, me retirement.

Yikes.

This time-table is not of our choosing. So we will have to work through it. It seems we have done all the prep in times when Mercury was not retrograde.

I have to believe the time-table has been set by the universe and meant to be.

It’s also a new moon, tomorrow. Which I hope takes precedence over Mercury’s antics. The new moon is the best time to set intentions for what you want, to plant the seeds that will blossom into your life. Both my son and I have been doing this for some time.

While I believe these things, Mercury Retrograde, and the New Moon, can energetically affect us all, I don’t believe that they are over-riding and can undo months of planning, and strength of desires, and beliefs. What having this knowledge does for me, is make me more aware of my world, of the energies that wrap around us moment by moment. For example, retrograde may have contributed to me waking up at 4:30 this morning, but not as much as the fact that my son and I are leaving for Denver day after tomorrow, and I keep replaying the lists of things that need to be accomplished before we leave, and after I get back.

So, off I go today on my list of chores, knowing that I may have to work through a little more resistance than I would have expected. Maybe I’ll have a little New Moon ceremony tomorrow, light a candle and set intentions for our trip that it all go smoothly and easily. Couldn’t hurt. I tend to believe more in positive energy (setting intentions) than negative energy (Mercury retrograde). I think the positive energy is far more powerful.

Love and light, all.

New Moon

Image result for New Moon

Tomorrow is the new moon.  The day of the month that the dark side of the moon faces the earth.  It is a time to set intentions about what you want to bring into your life.  It’s a time to be introspective, and commit to a new vision.

I am thinking about my intention.  Where do I go from here?  There is no S, only a friendship with A.  With my ex there is just the old stand-off.  I have a good life, all in all. But Ive taken a set back in the recent months.  I have been writing obsessively, trying to get back on my feet.

Inexplicably, I still miss S from time to time.  The S I knew, the one that really never was. I guess for about 6 months he was this guy, because he was consistently this guy, day in and day out.  Then the man just disappeared, he morphed into the old S, the one I never knew that I only heard stories about. The guy I loved was so cool.  But, he was my fantasy.  It was fun to live while I lived it.  When it crashed and burned it almost killed me though.

A….God, he is the sweetest man I’ve ever met.  He is all about me, all the time, but there are some things, that don’t bother me from 2000 miles away, that would bother me day to day.  Still…I was so loathe to hurt him today.  He told me he was “giddy” at the thought of spending 2 weeks with me.  There are times when I really want to “rest in his love” as he put it…but it just feels dishonest.  I can’t reciprocate that kind of love.

Back to my intentions.

  1. To stop obsessing about any of these men. Wasting a lot of energy on it, and there is nothing workable there.
  2. Open my sacral chakra back up.  It’s been closed since S has been out of my life.  It is where our sexuality is centered, but also, where our creativity is.  I’m going to work on opening my creativity back up.  Put that energy that I’ve been stifling because it made me miss him so much, into something productive, and beautiful.  Something that is uniquely me.
  3. To stop beating myself up as not good enough.  Rejection is so hard to take, when you’ve given all you have and then some.   I’ve been working on this, but I still find myself going there occasionally.  I suppose time and distance will help to resolve those emotions. But so will setting an intention on the New Moon.
  4. To begin open my heart to allowing in someone new, someone who wants what I want, can make me laugh but not cry, and love passionately. I’m a little afraid, really….to put myself out there at the moment.  So, one of my intentions will be to let go the fear that comes from hitting the floor so hard.

I have had a lump in my throat all day, since I talked to my ex this morning.  Not because I loved him or wanted him, but to see what he’s done to his life is just so sad.  Then I think about S, and how much he’s like my ex, and what he’s doing to his life with all the lies and deceit that are so unnecessary.  Especially with me.  I was like the girl in Jerry Maguire “You had me at hello.”  He didn’t need to hide or embellish.  He was so lovable just as he was.  But then, no one really knows him, so I can only say I loved that man that I knew.  I think I knew the most honest version of him that anyone did.  But that man’s gone now, so I let my love for him go with him, out into the universe.

Anyway, new moon. New intentions.  I have a first phone call with a seemingly nice man tomorrow night.  I hope he isn’t boring! He doesn’t seem so in his messages.  Seems willing to jump into the arena and be seen.

Maybe the new moon is a good time for that first phone call.