Purging, and Moving On

Posted on by learning to live like water

Purging this morning, lol. First about our president’s utter disregard for everything that is decent. Then, Scott, who seemed to think that it was a good time to contact me again. Just need to purge all that chaotic energy out of me. I probably will piss Scott off totally with that blog, but I needed to get it out there. I can’t get a message or call from him, so if he’s pissed off he’ll have to take a walk or something. Go live in a monastery, whatever. Just leave me the fuck alone.

(Note:  I have taken the blog titled Contact down, the one about Scott’s trying to reach me.)

I did not hear from L yesterday, but as I said, didn’t expect to. He has a lot going on, and I know I will hear from him while he’s there, when he gets a minute. I look forward to that, he always puts a smile on my face.

It is cold and raining here this morning. Such an anomaly, lol. 53 and rain. But it will be back up to 70 in a couple days, and sunny. We need a day like this every once in a while to remind us how good we have it 95% of the time.

I had plans to make banana bread with the rest of the bananas from the community garden this morning, with my friend. However, she rides a bike, doubtful she will be riding in the rain. I’ll probably go get her, she lives a few blocks away, and we can make the bread this afternoon. It will be a good distraction from all this stuff.

Yesterday I signed up for a 21 day free meditation with Oprah and Deepak. They sent along 3 free meditations from other 21 day programs they’ve had, all of which I have done. I am grateful for the 3 they sent, I need to get myself centered and grounded. This next program is called Hope in Uncertain Times. They send a guided meditation via email to you each morning for 21 days. If you are interested, go to thechopracentermeditation.com to sign up. I’ve done them all, I’m pretty sure. I always get something valuable from these 21 day meditations.

Time to get moving, to get productive with the day. Time to put the chaos behind me, and get back to the rich happy life I have here. Don’t let the bastards get you down. And resist. Continue to resist.

Love and light…..

What Country Do I Live In?

Posted on by learning to live like water

In the last week, my world, and most of yours, has been turned upside down, and everything is being shaken out, to the floor. There is no way to pick up the 10,000 pieces fast enough to regain some semblance of order. It is terrifying.

The ban on Muslim immigration is illegal, and unconstitutional. I KNOW that tRump knows this, I know his advisers told him this. Yet he just does it. He does it anyway. He doesn’t give a fuck what anyone says.

An aside here. You all know I can have a potty mouth. I’ve been trying to temper it, but honestly, what’s going on here is not served by any word other than fuck, and it’s not even strong enough. So bear with me.

The chaos that is ensuing from this man’s need to exert his power and control over everyone and anyone is breathtaking, in a gasping for air way. I can’t believe that there is any sane person who voted for him who is not 2nd guessing their beliefs, and their vote, right now.

What more can the Cheetoman do to convince people that he absolutely does NOT believe that the laws apply to him also? How much more cruelty, chaos, hatefulness, racist, narcissist, (I could go on but you get the idea) behavior does he have to exhibit before the entire country stands up and is counted and stops him?

Please, those of you in power to do it, start the impeachment process. This is an illegal act, we don’t need to have any more of them to convince us that he will totally destroy this country if we give him any more space. 1 week was too much. 4 years? No one will recognize this country ever again.

It’s frightening, it’s scary. Let’s all call our legislators and call for his impeachment. Call for them to get this ridiculous immigration order stayed. It’s nuts. This is nuts.

I have learned on a personal level what happens when someone is hell bent to cause chaos in my life. Now it’s expanded to a collective level for our country. Take a stand against this evil. Resist. Take a stand for love. Resist Trump. Resist.

Saturday Updates

Posted on by learning to live like water

It’s chilly in Florida today! The high was about 55, if that high! It’s actually kind of refreshing to have a nip in the air, and then know it’s going to be 75 again by next weekend. Loving it!

I got my boat slip sold, and the two attorney’s are working on the closing documents. Hopefully it will close sometime next month. I’m pretty excited about that. I filled out and signed all the documents I need to, and mailed them back to my attorney today.

I took a friend with me, we both needed to run some errands. But first we stopped at this great little Italian restaurant in the center of down, and had an espresso and split a piece of tiramisu. Damn, it was so good!!! It was nice to get out, and just talk, and sit and relax. Then we headed for the hardware store, and for Walmart.

I got home around 3, and now I’m working on Florida’s Homestead Act Exemption, which will cut my property tax bill almost in half. Happy about that. I have some stuff out to make dinner, and have a nice evening by myself planned.

I don’t expect to hear from L today, because he flew home to Ohio and will be with his kids. He might call, but I don’t expect it. For that matter, I never expect it from him, but he has called me every day since we met! I don’t think he’s noticed I disabled my profiles on the dating site yet, but I don’t think he’s on there much, since he took his own pictures down, thinking that would keep women from messaging him, if he didn’t have a picture up, and I’m sure he’s right. I just don’t want any distractions, I just want to see where this will go with him, because I really really like him, and it seems mutual.

Life is good, I’m feeling very happy. Love and light, all.

On Not Having to Explain Myself

Posted on by learning to live like water

The other day, when I was at my sisters, she said, again, lol, how she didn’t realize how much it would mean to her to have me so close by. I think for me, it’s been different than for her. I KNEW how much it would mean to me, hell, I wouldn’t have moved here if she wasn’t here. I only knew her and my one friend from childhood. When you move a great distance, you think about those things.

My sis has lived here with her husband, in the winter for 8 years. She has a base here, close friendships. My appearance in her life was one more of them. But we both have realized how awesome it is to have each other. To have someone in your life on a regular basis who lived through your childhood together, who knew how you grew up, experienced all that you experienced. To have someone in your life regularly to whom you don’t have to explain who you are. It’s amazing really.

This morning, I was making my coffee, and thought about how all three of us, my older and younger sisters, and me, drink our coffee the same way. Cream only, and not too much of it. (Although my younger sister, now mostly vegan probably gave up the cream.) I thought about my little sister’s visit in about 10 days. Thought about how cool it will be to go out to lunch with both my sisters, just the 3 of us.

Of course, then I always think about how blessed we were to grow up in the Norman Rockwell life we did. Two parents who loved each other, in a small town in Iowa, in a 100 year old house 3 blocks from the Mississippi River. Days spent on that river together, where at least my older sis and I learned to water-ski, behind our 16′ boat. Minor league baseball games with my dad.

Mostly, and I’ve written about this many times, never ever going to bed wondering if our parents loved us. My God, what a gift that is to give your children. The people I know who did not have that foundation, that gift, of unconditional love have striven for it their whole lives, don’t believe it exists, and have built incredible walls and acted out in harmful ways to ease the pain of a child who doesn’t believe they are worthy of love.

I’m trying to finish up the stuff I need to get done with the house before my little sis comes here. I look at the diamond shaped window in my front door, and the round stained glass flower that this sister made for me which fits exactly in the center of it.

I feel so much peace lately. So much more than I’ve felt in years. My sisters and I hanging out together. The spark of a relationship that has the possibility of becoming something very special, without all the pain and drama and ugliness of my marriage and last relationship. A cute little house in a place where 60 is cold weather. And not having to go to work. Good, close friends. One of them who is almost like my sisters, who has known me forever, and to whom I never have to explain myself. It’s coincidental that the other day L was telling me a story from his youth, and said, oh yes, when I get together with my old friends, it’s still one of the stories we talk about.  Then he asked me, “do you have any friends that you’ve been friends with forever, like that?”  I told him “Oh yeah, in fact last weekend I had 3 girls staying with me and we’ve all been best friends since we were 13.”  He remarked how nice it is to have people in your life who knew you forever, that you never have to explain who you are to, who just know you.  It’s frigging amazing, really.

I have said so many times in the last couple of years, that I believe my purpose on this earth is to learn lessons and evolve my soul. I still believe that. The last couple of years though, I’ve added a caveat to that which is, that my lessons become easy lessons. I’ve had enough of the hard ones. I think I really have. Right now, it seems easy. I mean, the hardest thing that’s happened in a long time is having to set up a new cell phone, LOL. It feels like the Universe has listened, as if the intentions I set are manifesting.

Love and light to everyone.

Changes

Posted on by learning to live like water

I got the phone squared away. It only took me about 3 1/2 hours. It’s behind me. There is so little difference between an iPhone 6 and 7, at least to my untrained eye. Whatever. Now I have a 7.

I was so frustrated….irritated. Didn’t get any of the stuff done I wanted to do today. Plus my girlfriend who doesn’t have a car needed a ride to and from the doctor, and back, and she forgot to tell me til this morning. But I gave her one.

Just as I finished the phone L called me. He had his own set of problems today, worse than mine, but he still managed to find a minute to listen to me, and offer a shoulder, so to speak. Totally not used to a man who can feel empathy. Wow. I did the same, I hope, for the problems he had, that were just adding pressure to the fact that he’s leaving tomorrow for a week or so. God, I love talking to him. Someone who calms me, doesn’t ignore me, doesn’t put himself first all the time. And then, somehow makes me giggle, and feel happy.

I took my profiled off the dating site today. I had said I might, and I decided to do it because I kept getting messages from people. Honestly, I don’t want the distraction. I like L enough to just want to focus on getting to know him, and seeing where it goes. I thought it was weird to get messages from the other two men I was so interested in yesterday. One who disappeared, and the other who I told I wasn’t interested. I guess they both have my phone number, but doubt that I’ll hear from them if my profile is inactive.

Funny how quickly life can change. Love and light, all.

I Hate Getting a New Phone

Posted on by learning to live like water

Oh man, sometimes your day goes to shit.

Great plans for the day undone. I noticed my phone was not charging. I have two chargers in the house, one cable. I moved the cable from one to the other, still not charging. I went out to the car and got my second cable. Tried it on both chargers, still not charging.

I had 72% left on my battery. I got in the car and drove to the Sprint store. The very nice attendant there told me he could see some stuff in the charging port and would try to clean it up for me, and see if that solved the problem.

It didn’t, even though he got it pretty clean. The charge to have someone LOOK at my phone would be $75. And then whatever to fix it. The phone is 2 ½ years old. I just paid the buy out on the lease. Grrrr.

So…..I bought a new phone, iPhone 7. I HATE getting a new phone. Especially now. Remember the days when they plugged your old phone into your new one, and you went happily on your way with all your apps, music, photos? No. Now, it’s all saved in the cloud. I, ME, have to download it all….and re-open it and reset it all up.

First I had to update a brand new damn phone. That took a half hour.

WTF.

I have spent about an hour getting all my music loaded up and into it’s respective playlists. Now I am trying to download all the apps I had, which was quite a few. I remembered that usually when I update a phone, I have to then shut it down and reboot once more to make it work correctly. I apparently can’t click on more than one at a time. So, I have to wait for each app to load and then click on another.

And I have to reset up all my email accounts. I have 4 or 5. My “notes” did not transfer through though they should be stored in the cloud but are not, apparently. I have passwords there. To a lot of things. Grrrr.

Can you say, aggravated, frustrated, angry…….

Then of course, the smaller issue of all the icons on my desktop are out of order.

I guess, thank God I am not working and trying to deal with this. Small favors.

Needless to say, I’m not getting anything done that I had planned to do today.

Love and light.

Relaxing and Recharging

Posted on by learning to live like water

Last night I went to open mic, my normal Thursday outing. My friend who I’ve been friends with since I was 13 came over before hand and we shared the bit of pot roast I’d left here and not taken to my sisters. It was fun to hang out with her.

She had been gone for about 5 days, so we had a lot of catching up to do. I told her about L, my new guy. And how much I like him, how he makes me laugh, how sweet and considerate he seems to be. And that the feeling is mutual, it seems. There is no game playing going on that I can perceive, and I’m pretty sensitive to that now, lol. It’s wonderful to be with someone who is not afraid to be seen.

I had asked L if he wanted to go with me to open mic. But also said I knew it was a long shot, because he’s leaving really early tomorrow morning to go to Ohio for about a week, and is really busy setting up a new corp with his kids as well, which is why he’s going to Ohio. He couldn’t, but said when he gets back for sure he wants to go.

She got me up-to-date on her doings, and there are some pretty exciting things going on for her, which I’m so happy about. Also, she told me that when her show at the gallery was up, the one in which she put 7 of my necklaces, she had taken them to another gallery to show. And that I’d sold another one! Whoo Hoo! The money hasn’t come in yet but it’s so cool. I am selling more at the galleries for twice the price (I only get half of it) than I do on my Etsy shop for the normal price. Whodda thunk? But it’s motivating me to get some more pieces made. What a great way to make money, without having to go to work every day.

After open mic, she and my other good friend came over for some apple pie. Just a store made pie, but it was good, and I need to get it out of my fridge, lol. We talked til about 11, and they went home. I went right to bed, and slept 8 ½ hours. No sleep aids….It is so awesome.

Yesterday I had a message from Tim (the guy I just let go) and one from Tom, the guy who said he was going to call, and really led me on (“say hi to your sis, I know we’re going to meet”). I ignored them both, but the two messages made me think I should disable my profile. I’m really not interested in anyone besides L, and want to see where that will go. I think I’ll probably do that today.

Got a lot of errands to do today, and hope to get started on some more jewelry. Making the jewelry takes me off of the computer, which is good, because being off of it keeps me from seeing what our Tweeter-in-Chief is up to for awhile. It’s a good idea to get away from it for awhile, to refresh and renew, so that I can keep up the energy to resist.

For that matter, so does a night like last night, just allow me to recharge, and relax.

Love and light….

Channeling My Sister, And Other News

Posted on by learning to live like water

I’m still at my sisters and planning to head home in a couple hours. I didn’t make sunrise this morning. I was up late talking to my new friend, the man I had lunch with Monday. It seems like it’s going somewhere, lol. He told me he took his pictures down off of the dating site, in case I happened to notice. I said, “I haven’t really been on it since we met Monday, so I didn’t see.” He said he loves talking to me, he loves my laugh. I said, I like talking to you, because you make me laugh! It’s all good.

I am always the first one up at my sisters. Today I got up about 6:15, and was making coffee, just a cup for me, because sister is not usually up for another half hour anyway. But she walked in the kitchen as the coffee was making and said, “I’m channeling you, Deb. I’m up early and I lost weight yesterday!” LOL. I said, “And I’m channeling you, because I was up late on the phone, and I gained a lb yesterday!”

An aside, when I got here Tuesday I weighed myself, and I had lost another lb or so, and was quite happy about it! But one day of sitting around not doing too much and I gained it back.

We were laughing so hard at each other. Then I was telling her how I’d found out someone I know had a prosthetic leg, and she said, “OMG, I dreamed about someone with one last night!” Like, she really is channeling me! Holy crap!

Well, we are close. We’re both so excited for our baby sister to come in less than 2 weeks. We’ve been planning what to do, etc. I know little sis is happy to hang out at the beach, by the pool. We may go shopping at some of the cool stores on the next island. Gonna be so much fun to have the three of us together again. I know my little sister will never move here. She has 3 of her 4 kids living close to her in Austin, and her 3 grandkids, as well as most of her husbands extended family. But at least now we are more organized geographically. And, Austin is a very cool place to visit, I love it there. A liberal enclave in the middle of one of the most conservative places in the country. Maybe my older sis and I can go visit her there.

So it promises to be a beautiful day again. It’s still very windy from the front that passed through a few days ago. The Gulf of Mexico is usually pretty tranquil, but the last two days there have been huge waves crashing on the beach. People out surfing and wind surfing, which is an unusual sight here. Tonight is open mic night. Thinking maybe I’ll see if my new friend would like to go. He’s going home to Ohio for a week or so Saturday, it might be nice to see him again before he leaves. I will toy with the idea. It might be too soon to introduce him to all of my friends there. But maybe…..he might enjoy it. He’s pretty extroverted.

Feeling happy this morning. Except about the lb I gained. Well, I always eat too well when I’m here, lol. And rest too much. Back to real life this morning!

Love and light, everyone.