Category Archives: Poems

Too Old for Fairy Tales

Posted on by learning to live like water

Realizing that golden sunrises give way to deep blue skies,

Reality looked at me

Staring me in the eyes

Daring me to dismiss it.

I could not.

Strong enough to be me,

wise enough to know what I want,

It was not that.

And that would never be enough.

Pounding my head uselessly against a wall

Impermeable, impervious

All I got was a headache,

A scar, incompatible.

The wall stands,

But I walk away.

Truth be told,

Whatever was on the other side

Was only in my imagination.

I thought I’d seen glimpses,

I made up a story.

A lovely story, that I wanted to believe.

But alas, it was just a fairy tale,

and I’m too old for fairy tales.

Loss

Posted on by learning to live like water

Is something a loss if you never really had it?

Or if what you had was not what you thought it was?

Or what you wanted?

Is it loss because you dreamed of it,

And the dream died?

In an instant….

fighting for it

didn’t make it so

Nor begging

Nor asking,

Nor longing.

It never was.

I think it’s loss

Still.

Maybe

Posted on by learning to live like water

Still holding on to the summer

That’s leaving so quickly.

Still wearing my flip-flops,

dreaming of the beach.

Dreaming of star-gazing on warm summer nights.

I apparently love to kid myself.

And not to let go,

And not to accept that which I don’t want.

Cooler mornings and shorter days.

Not my thing.

The voices are demanding

That I accept what is.

September, creeping toward the end.

leaves changing colors,

falling to the ground.

Dreams of summer falling with them

Give me sensuous summer nights

and glorious hot summer days.

Let go, let go, the voice commands.

A few more days….just a few… I beg.

Maybe.

Is the answer.

Just, maybe.

Loving What Is, Until There’s Something Else

Posted on by learning to live like water

Not knowing is hard

But maybe not as hard as the knowing?

If I don’t have the answer yet,

then the possibilities still live,

Right?

To stay in gratitude for what is,

at the moment.

The cool clean air

the early morning sun streaking golden across the sky.

The blanket wrapped around me

And the happy memories filling my head this morning.

What is, is all there is

Until there’s something else.

Moment to moment

forgive yourself and others

and be free.

Surrendering to the Wind

Posted on by learning to live like water

  

My little boat is ill equipped for this wind. 

Confused seas, 

First on my beam

Then following  behind me

Threatening. 

A header sea, 

Challenges my heart. 

Wind from the north, blustery

Then comes around

Southerly, balmy. 

I feel safe momentarily. 

Then it goes cold and damp

As it foretells an eastern gale. 

Seas are raucous, 

They laugh as I hold my stomach, 

Staving off waves of nausea. 

Home port seems so far, 

Because I cannot maintain speed in any direction. 

Longing for the comfort of an easy berth

Safely laying in my slip. 

But first, I need a steady wind. 

I cannot move, yet, 

floundering this way then that. 

Just when the wind seems steady, 

a gust blows me backwards. 

And so, I am hove to, 

I take down the sails 

And let the wind and sea 

Direct my journey. 

Hands off the wheel,

I surrender to the powers greater

Than mine. 

And my little boat. 

Release

Posted on by learning to live like water

Connections with you

Wrapped around my heart,

My psyche.

Squeezing the life out of me

Causing me gripping pain.

There has been no joy in that connection.

No beauty has been held up in awe.

No great love has been born,

And now, no great love is lost.

The tether has been released,

We float free of each other.

The cords have been cut,

their grip on my heart loosened.

The last tears have been shed,

Their salinity lost in the vast ocean.

The waves cease to call your name to me

And the wind is silent

Bringing me peace and healing.

I look around,

I don’t see you

Anywhere.

You have vanished from my life.

But I see my beautiful life.

I see the people I love waiting to embrace me.

I see the places I love,

Beckoning my footsteps.

Filling the void that your disappearance left.

Filling it with more wonder and joy and beauty

than I could ever imagine

When I was with you.

I lift my face to the rising sun.

I breathe in the still, clean air.

I am alive, I feel, I love.

Wish I Could Stay

Posted on by learning to live like water

I did my morning meditation as the sun broke through clouds

left over from yesterdays rain.

I sat in peace, quieted my mind

Of all the things I have to do today,

and want to have happen today,

And just let myself be.

When the meditation was over,

And I came back to this physical world

And opened my eyes,

I saw the lush green woods bordering my back yard.

I saw the sun in a hazy blue sky streaked with gray clouds.

I felt a cool early morning breeze across my shoulders,

Fills my head with the peaceful scent of the lavender from my herb garden.

All I felt was love

And gratitude.

Be here now,

The sages urge.

This morning,

I am here now.

And it’s a lovely place to be.

Would that I could figure out

How to stay here.

A Favorite Poem: Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front by Wendell Berry

Posted on by learning to live like water

This is one of my favorite poems.  It was introduced to me by my brilliant and beautiful niece who was valedictorian of her high school class, and incorporated the poem into her address.  My favorite line is the last one, “Practice Resurrection”.  That was my mantra for many years. I also love how he says “Be joyful although you have considered all the facts.”   It had been some time since I’d read this, and ran across Wendell Berry’s name somewhere last night.  I thought I would share it here, it always gives me a lift.

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front

by Wendell Berry

 

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,

vacation with pay. Want more

of everything ready-made. Be afraid

to know your neighbors and to die.

And you will have a window in your head.

Not even your future will be a mystery

any more. Your mind will be punched in a card

and shut away in a little drawer.

When they want you to buy something

they will call you. When they want you

to die for profit they will let you know.

So, friends, every day do something

that won’t compute. Love the Lord.

Love the world. Work for nothing.

Take all that you have and be poor.

Love someone who does not deserve it.

Denounce the government and embrace

the flag. Hope to live in that free

republic for which it stands.

Give your approval to all you cannot

understand. Praise ignorance, for what man

has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.

Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias.

Say that your main crop is the forest

that you did not plant,

that you will not live to harvest.

Say that the leaves are harvested

when they have rotted into the mold.

Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus

that will build under the trees

every thousand years.

Listen to carrion — put your ear

close, and hear the faint chattering

of the songs that are to come.

Expect the end of the world. Laugh.

Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful

though you have considered all the facts.

So long as women do not go cheap

for power, please women more than men.

Ask yourself: Will this satisfy

a woman satisfied to bear a child?

Will this disturb the sleep

of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.

Lie easy in the shade. Rest your head

in her lap. Swear allegiance

to what is nighest your thoughts.

As soon as the generals and the politicos

can predict the motions of your mind,

lose it. Leave it as a sign

to mark the false trail, the way

you didn’t go. Be like the fox

who makes more tracks than necessary,

some in the wrong direction.

Practice resurrection.

 

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