The tides rise and fall
With the moon glow from above
Celestial rhythms
By Deborah E. Dayen
Picture from Google Images
Oblivion
Day rises, night falls
Love grows from nothing
Then disappears into oblivion.
So some think.
Love is all there ever is
Oblivion is where it waits for you.
Forget yourself
Into the deep dark recesses of oblivion.
There you will find love
When you find yourself.
By Deborah E. Dayen
Picture from Google Images
Learning to Lean The Other Way
A nice thing happened last night. I hadn’t heard from L all day, but I knew he was driving to meet his friends, and when he did would be all caught up in their doings, having fun, so didn’t expect to. On Sunday I had asked him to send me a picture of himself, a selfie, because he’d taken down all his pics on the dating site, so I didn’t have any. I jokingly said, “I don’t want to forget what you look like.” He replied that “you are so sweet! But I am not good about selfies.” So I said, “well, maybe one of your friends can take one and you can send it to me.”
Last night going to bed, I was just thinking about him, wondering where he was, because they had a few places on their itinerary, and hoping really, that he was having a great time. And I heard the text alert go off, and he sent me a pic his friend had taken of him at the finish line on the Daytona track. It’s from a distance, but I was able to zoom in enough to see him well. He said, “Does this qualify as a selfie?”
It was just so nice, not just the picture but the fact that at the end of the day, he remembered my request and cared enough to honor it. Wow. I may have a keeper here. He actually knows how, and seems to want to, build a relationship.
It’s still so new, too new to tell if it will go anywhere or not, but clearly, the foundation is being built one brick at a time. And not being torn down in between, nor is anything being withheld in some kind of power play. No game, at all.
It’s so refreshing. I have gotten so used to leaning into the discomfort of a relationship. Now I am leaning into the joy of it. Which is actually a little scary, lol. I am trained to expect the rug to get pulled out from under me, to wait for the other shoe to drop. But every day, I am less afraid of that, and more willing to believe in the possibilities.
Love and light….
Thoughts of how you break my heart
This is from Christina Strigas, she says so much in so few words, Amazing.
It’s Nice To Be Home
I’m home. My little sister is on her way back to Texas, and my older sis is resuming her life, as I am mine. I loved being at my sisters with my sisters, as you know. But now, it is good to be home. As my little sis packed this morning, I had to talk to myself, to remember I only needed to get everything into the car to drive home, not into a suitcase that would require proper packaging for a plane. So here I am, on my deck. I got home, unpacked, blew the leaves off the deck, threw in a load of laundry and am just out here enjoying the wonderful air, and peace of sitting on my own deck under the banyan tree, and the palm. I mean, it doesn’t get any better than this.
Well, I suppose if I had a significant other here with me, that would be nice, I’d like that. But I’m good as it is, right now. I have a budding relationship that may or may not turn into something. I’m good with the present moment. Very content.
Tomorrow, I have a back massage around noon, and a meeting for the Veteran’s Art Center tomorrow evening. At some point between now and tomorrow evening, I need to write a brief resume to let the board members know why I am qualified to be their treasurer. It’s not a formal resume, just something for them to put in the file to prove I was vetted in some way. That won’t take much time.
So, back to my life. My simple, rich, full life. Grateful. Just grateful for it.
Love and light.It
Pondering Mindfulness
Perusing my FB page this morning, I came across a mindfulness program, which lasts a year, for $27 a month. There were great teachers in the program. If I was rich I might consider it. But I’m not. So I won’t buy it, though I did sign up for a free video.
I will though, try to focus on being more mindful. More present in the moment. More in tune to the world around me. Instead of spending a lot of time focusing on what I want it to be, I will try to accept it the way it is.
Now, acceptance and approval are two different things. I can still work for change, and I think right now it’s important to do that, with a mentally ill president and a bunch of fools around him buying into his power and control thing. But it’s like the riptide, you gotta swim with it, accepting that you are in a riptide, and then swim out of it. Fighting the fact that the riptide is what is, could kill you. It’s what Brene Brown calls “leaning into the discomfort.”
I have found myself so angry at what’s been going on. Angry enough it made me almost get into arguments with people who even agreed with me, because I felt they weren’t understanding it enough. And they were, they were as angry as me. It is easy to make that step, and it’s only a step, from anger to hate. And hate is never where I want to be.
So, first I must practice extending love. Teach with love, react with compassion. Find joy in the day even though. When I find myself ready to make that step from anger to hate, my foot poised above the step, I know then I have to take some time to myself, to remember who I am, what my purpose here is, and count my blessings. Again.
For instance, I read an article from the NYTimes, or maybe Washington Post, explaining how tRump and his policy wonks are gaslighting us. And I know they are, I have been gaslighted by my own husband and it’s terrifying when you realize someone is trying to make you feel crazy. Then I read another, from one of those two prestigious papers, telling how husbands are far more deadly than terrorists in this country.
And knowing that, I need to still find joy in the day. I sit on my sisters porch, I wave at her neighbors out for their morning walk. I listen to the birds, and smell the salt air, and feel the breeze gently caressing me. I have spent a week with my two sisters, and I know I am so blessed, there is so much to feel blessed about.
All I’m saying is, be mindful of your blessings, as well as of the things that need changing in this world. When it’s time to fight for the common good, fight. When it’s time to sit back and know the world is indeed a beautiful place, sit back and be grateful. Feel the gratitude for everything you can think of. Family, friends, the food in your fridge, the air you breathe. Gratitude.
I truly believe that love is the only power that can cure this world. Hate begets more hate, anger begets more anger, fear begets more fear. And love begets more love.
Like Marianne Williamson said, in The Return to Love, “We are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past, but by the love we’re not extending in the present.” I will try to mindfully react to things by extending love. More.
Love and light, all…..
Winding Up the Weekend
Lying in bed, my last night at my older sis’s. My two sisters are still watching TV, but I just wanted to lie down. I’m in bed, with the lap top on my bent knees, listening to my music on my phone.
Tomorrow we’ll leave around 11, get home by noon. I’ll take my little sister out for lunch, and then we’ll head for the airport. It’s been such a joy, to be together again for a week. We’ve never spent this much time together, just three of us. It’s been easy, happy. Perfect weather. I’m sad to see her go, I’m ok with going home, because I know I’ll be back soon. It’s only an hour away. I’ve got a lot of stuff on my plate this week.
Had a nice little texting chat with Lou tonight. He was home, and getting ready to go to Orlando. Apparently he’ll be gone for about a week more, there, and to Daytona, and to the Kennedy Space Center, with his old high school friends. We talked about it, and will see each other when he gets back. He said, please be patient with me. Sweet, but no problem. He told me about this, but since we are so new to each other, I didn’t realize it was for a week, but I hope he has fun! He’s just a nice guy….he said he’d keep in touch from there.
Well I was sneezing like crazy tonight, I’m allergic to something down here. Anyway, took a Benadryl to stop the itching, and now I’m falling asleep, lol.
Love and light, all.
Finding Freedom
Walking down to the sea
Soft, white sand beneath my feet
Gentle waves break rhythmically
The clear horizon where sky and water meet.
This is your home
The voice deep inside told me
This is your place, where the land ends
It’s where your peace begins, the sacred sea.
The vastness of the universe
Unfolds before my eyes
My spirit soars, my feet on the ground
Something is born as something dies.
Infinite possibilities begin to take form
In the endless blue of sky and sea
Sun and sand join them
And I know, in my soul, I am free.
By Deborah E. Dayen
Picture taken by me, yesterday.
Feelin’ the Love
It was another wonderful day yesterday. We went to a beach market, to a French creperie for lunch and had some decadent crepes, then on to the beach with my little sister to just be there. It was a picture perfect day, high 70’s, light breeze. The sea was calm and we walked a long ways, gathering shells for my sis to take home. We both found sand dollars, which is like the prize, lol. When we came back, it was into the pool, or hot tub. My sister’s friend from across the street came over and joined us, and we had a glass of wine, sitting in the hot tub, talking and laughing. My sis made an incredible dinner of sea scallops, truffle pasta, and veggies. Really, it doesn’t get any better than this, ever……
We watched Michael Moore’s new movie, “Where to Invade Next” on Amazon Prime last night. It’s a good movie….a documentary. He goes to a number of other countries, and “invades” them, himself. And steals ideas to take back here. Like Italy, where they get 8 weeks paid vacation a year, and 5 months paid maternity leave, and long 2 hour lunch breaks, and their productivity is high, and people are happy. He goes to, which has an equal rights amendment for women, written into their constitution, to guarantee the equality and rights of women. In a Muslim country. He goes to France, where lunch time is a class for kids. They eat gourmet food, they have a chef. 4 course nutritionally balanced meals. They learn about nutrition, and sitting down at the table, and good manners, and appreciating food. He goes to Germany, where they teach the students real history, not whitewashed, not fake history. They own up to their forbears mistakes and horrors, so that they don’t repeat them. There were many more, Iceland, Norway, Portugal….
It was not about how all these countries are better than the US, it was about really, how all these ideas stemmed from things here, and then were just forgotten. It’s about how in all those countries, people said, “We have to take care of each other.” It’s just a wonderful movie that makes you think. I woke up this morning thinking maybe all the smaller brothers and sister countries in the world will help us save us from ourselves these days. We are in our dark place now, and we so need a light to shine on our government to get them to stop engendering hate. It made me hopeful that we can rise, as a nation, again.
Today is the last day I will spend with both my sisters. My younger sis goes back tomorrow afternoon. God, I will miss her. I will go back to my normal life, which, come to think of it, is awesome, lol. I”ve been on vacation from my permanent vacation. I have an eye exam this week, a dental exam, a meeting of the Veterans Art Center board, and maybe a date with L, when we both are back in town. Open mic night Thursday night. It’s going to be a good week.
Oh…and both my sisters followed my blog via email. Those don’t show in my stats, so didn’t show on my count, but they were my 500th and 501st followers! Awesome!
Love and light, everyone.
Sewing and Sowing (SoCS Prompt)
So, I’m thinking about sewing. I have a bathing suit that the plastic underwire has popped through the material that needs to be sewn. It’s a fairly new bathing suit, so I certainly don’t want to scrap it. And I only have one other that fits now. I lost enough weight that the butt in my other old ones make me look like I’m carrying a load. So, I think I threw them out, so I wouldn’t be tempted to wear them anyway. Since I’m at my sisters, I know she will have a needle and thread. I used to have a sewing kit, but didn’t bring it with me.
My mother taught us all to sew, before we even took home ec, which was a required course when we were in jr. high school. Even though we bought some of our clothes, it was much more normal that when we wanted a new dress, we’d go find a pattern that we liked and fabric and sew the dress on my mothers ancient Singer machine. When Cabbage Patch dolls came out, Mom had 3 young granddaughters and knew they all wanted one, but they were expensive. So Mom made each of the three little girls a beautiful doll, complete with the little certificate that came with them. She was a pretty amazing grandmother, as well as mother.
I am missing my herb garden that I had at my old house. I especially miss the lavender. I loved sitting out in the morning, and having the breeze waft the smell up to the deck while I sat out in the morning. I have considered sowing seeds in a pot, but really….I’ll probably just by a starter plants. I have a place I could put a few pots, and if I have separate pots for each herb, one of them won’t take over the garden. My lavender, and the thyme and the lemon balm really used to fight for the space. I’d like to have rosemary, thyme, chives, parsely, basil, and maybe sage. I am not that good at sowing seeds, and getting the plants started from scratch.
So, this Saturday, I’m prompted to write about so/sew/sow and apparently I had plenty of thoughts about them.
Love and light, everyone.
This was written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday writing prompt. The prompt this week was so/sow/sew. If you’d like to participate, (and it’s fun!) please go to her page https://lindaghill.com/2017/02/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-1117/ to get all the details!
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