Monthly Archives: April 2017

Changes

Posted on by learning to live like water

I’m trying to change the character of my blog. Every time I write a journal type blog, updating on what I’ve been up to, I end up deleting it. I guess I’ve changed, in that I think now, who cares what you’ve been doing besides yourself and a couple of people you know? It’s boring, and self-aggrandizing. I think I want to get back to writing things associated with the original purpose of this blog, which is to offer up wisdom, mostly from others, some from my own experiences, that are in keeping with “Learning to Live Like Water”.

My mother, before she had her stroke, when I first told her about the book I was writing by the same name, said, “Why not title it just Live like Water?” I said, “Because it’s an ongoing process, which I don’t believe is ever completed in one’s lifetime.” She thought about it, and understood. I was blessed to have a mom like that.

Anyway, I’ve been sidetracked for a long time with my own personal dramas. Letting go of them is part of the learning process, I guess. Not saying I won’t slip back once in awhile. Writing is such an outlet for me, to work things out. But even then, do I need to publish it to the world any longer, to give it validity? I think not. Maybe I never did. But what was, was. Maybe I’ve evolved, lol. I’m in a different space now. My world has expanded, for sure.

I’d like to write more poetry, different kinds of poetry. More essay type blogs, like the one the other day about generosity. This will naturally take more thought, more time, if I’m not just blathering on about how nice the weather is in Florida, or how blessed I am, or spewing anger self-righteously in often thoughtless ways. (Hindsight is always 20/20 isn’t it?) Enough of that. Taking more time means probably less blogs, except for those days (or middle of the nights) when the writing pours out of you and you can’t stop.

Learning to Live Like Water is mostly about going with the flow. Sometimes I’ve been caught in the current, in almost a riptide, and had to work my way out of it. Sometimes, a block has been put up, that I have to get around somehow. But mostly, I’m just floating on the stream, looking up at the sky, letting the energy flow around me and carry me. I want to be like the Alchemist in Paulo Coelho’s book of the same name, and turn everything that happens into a blessing. Hey, it’s worth a try, right?

Love and light, all.

Radiance

Posted on by learning to live like water

sunflowers

Come to me
In the darkest night,
Or
In the light of day.
Let me feel your breath
On every breeze
And your heat in every sunrise.
Fill me
With the radiance of the universe.

What was, was
What is, is.
What will be, will be.

In uncertainties lie possibilities
Which can be fearful,
Or beautiful.
I choose to hope
for the amazing
And wonderful outcomes.
Hope makes me strong.

I see now,
It’s been there all along.
Hope, in every sunrise
In every sunset,
Advancing me in the direction of my dreams.

I have been doing a 21 day meditation from Oprah and Deepak, called “Hope in Uncertain Times”. This poem is an outgrowth of that meditation. I am trying not to be attached to specific outcomes anymore. I just hope for good outcomes, and try not to be afraid of uncertainties. Trying to let go of the wheel, and let the Universe drive the train, and trust.

Love and light…..

By Deborah E. Dayen

Image from Far East Fling via Google Images

G for Generosity, of Spirit

Posted on by learning to live like water

I woke in the middle of the night last night, which is not unusual. For some reason, Brene Brown’s anagram, “B R A V I N G” trust came into my head, and particularly, the last letter of it, G, for generosity.

If you have not seen Brene’s video, The Anatomy of Trust, which is well worth watching, you might ask what generosity has to do with trust. It refers to generosity of spirit. That when someone does or says something that you could take as hurtful, you don’t. Instead, you extend generosity of spirit to that person, and say something like, “you know, what you just said kind of stung, but I know you didn’t mean to sting me, and we’re ok. I just wanted you to know that’s what I was thinking.”

Be generous. Remember that we are all flawed, and we all say and do things that don’t exactly reflect what we want to reflect, and we all accidentally hurt others, and we don’t mean to. It’s a very human flaw.

It’s good to say something, and include the generosity. Why say something? Because it allows growth for both people, to put it on the table.

I know for a fact that I have not always been generous in my thoughts of what people have said. I still have that hyper-vigilance thing going on, where I want to defend myself from all attacks. But sometimes, I’m tilting at windmills, you know? Sometimes what was said was only in jest, or perhaps without a lot of thought, but was not meant to hurt me. There was no evil intent. I was wasting my time fighting something that was never meant to cause me harm. And in the process, hurting others with my accusations.

I think the thought about generosity came to me in the middle of the night because maybe it was just time for me to learn it, to understand it, to see it, to own it. And to realize that I don’t need to take everything that’s ever said with such seriousness.

And maybe it came to me because there are 4 planets in retrograde, or going into retrograde or coming out of retrograde shortly. Who knows? It came when it was supposed to. Lesson learned.

Love and light, everyone.

He’s Off, Finally

Posted on by learning to live like water

I got my son to the airport at 6:30 this morning, despite missing my exit and having to back track a mile. I was in bed fairly early last night, and slept ok, despite my issue with my ribs. His United flight is on time this morning. He’ll be back in Denver at 10:15 or so. He’s anxious to get home now, after this last delay. I found it easier to say goodbye this morning, since I’d done all my crying yesterday, and felt like I just had a little bonus that he was here last night and this morning.

About the issue with my ribs. I was watering some plants the other day, and when I went to take the hose back to where it belongs, I stepped off the deck onto some bricks which are just stacked into two step but are not actually real steps. One of them slid out from under my foot. I guess it might have been my wet flip-flops that caused the problem, I don’t really know because it happened so fast. But at any rate, I fell, and my right side went up against the corner of the very sturdy recycling bin which is at the bottom of the steps beside the deck. Since then, my bottom two ribs have hurt a lot, particularly if I sneeze or put any pressure on that side. I don’t know if I just bruised them badly or cracked them, but I didn’t go to get them x-rayed because they can’t do anything for a cracked rib anyway, and I didn’t want to subject myself to the x-ray for no reason.

So, this is why I say I slept ok despite the issue, because it’s one of those things that you have to wake up to say, turn over, in the night. If you don’t, it will wake you up, it hurts if you do it wrong.

Son-of-a-bitch.

Well, today a friend has asked me to give her a ride somewhere, to pick up some badly needed money. She offered to buy me lunch, but really, I feel guilty taking anything she is so broke. We’ll see…

The Vets Art Center is having a fund-raiser on the 23rd at Cracker Barrel. We are supposed to get 10 sponsors to donate $20 each for which we will rock in rocking chairs there for 4 hours. I’m not enthusiastic about it, because it’s about a half hour from here. Which, when I think about it, is absurd as a reason. I used to drive a half hour just to get to Walmart. I’ll probably do it. I feel kind of obligated since I’m on the board. I told the director I’d get back to him this week about it, because my son was here and I was really not up to speed about whatever I had planned.

Back to my normal life now, although it felt really normal with my son here. We just fell into old routines so easily. It was nice. But now I have my new routines and those are all good. My non-stressful life here.

Love and light.

Another No-Fly by Frontier

Posted on by learning to live like water

Frontier Air Lines. Do. Not. Ever. Fly. With. Them. After my son’s flight here was delayed 6 times and finally cancelled, and he had to get a flight out the next morning, we were hoping the return flight would go smoothly. Um……NO. His flight today was supposed to leave at 2:15. At 1:40 it was delayed until 3, at 2:50 it was delayed until 5. At 4:50 it was delayed until 6. At 4:55 it was delayed until 7:45. We booked him on one of the last two seats on a United flight early tomorrow, for $500.!. At about 6:30 the delayed flight was pushed back to 8;15. But by then…I had made it back to the airport to pick up my son and bring him back home for one more night. Which is the silver lining…I get to spend one more night with him. I was pretty sad about his leaving, so I’m happy to drive to the airport and back twice more to spend another evening with him.

To add to the chaos, of trying to figure out of we should book the other flight or wait for this one, my phone somehow got put on DND (Do Not Disturb) so no calls or texts were coming through. Even though I had just talked to him. I have no idea how or why that happened. But he tried to call me about 20 times, and it went to voice mail. So he was sure I’d been in a car accident. By the time he reached me he was frantic. Like sure I was dead. I felt so bad….so so so bad. He was already flippin with all the airline hassle….

Anyway, I brought him home, we ordered Chinese delivery, and I made us each a Mojito. We deserved it. Crazy crazy bs going on this afternoon!!!

Tomorrow I will get up at 5:30 am and get him to the airport by 6:30. Then I will write an eloquent, scathing email to Frontier. I want my money back. They want to give us vouchers. Um NO. We will never ever ever buy another ticket on Frontier, ever…. Did I say ever? Give me my money back. And the additional costs incurred getting him on another flight.

Crazy friggin day……At least I know how to get to and from the airport now, without my GPS.  Latest update on the Frontier flight:  moved from 8:15 to 8:30.  Really??????

Love and light, all.

Some Fundamental Truths Introspection

Posted on by learning to live like water

This morning my FB feed was, thankfully, not all about the antics of our tweeter-in-chief. I am so sick of reading about him, even though I think it’s important that we know what he’s been doing because it will affect all our lives. It’s just nice to have a reprieve from it, and especially on a quiet Sunday morning, to be able to sit and watch a couple of cool, human interest and/or funny videos and read some good articles.

One of my favorites today was from the Huffington Post, titled “10 Fundamental Truths That Will Change Your Life.” Just a list, with a short discussion of each, of things like “You’re living the life you created. (#4), Fear is the #1 source of regret. (#5), Live your life in the moment. (#7), Your self-worth must come from within. (#8), and Change is inevitable – Embrace it. (#10). Not to say that #’s 1, 2, 3, 6, and 9 weren’t just as important. These just stood out to me at the moment. Another day, another list, lol.

I have always said I dislike regrets, I dislike wishing my past was different than it was. Instead of regrets I say they were mistakes, lessons to be learned. Lessons that were not coincidental, but were part of my life’s journey to evolve my soul. Some were difficult, some were easy. But with all of them, it was, is, important to learn the lesson and then to Let It Go. As they said in the Huffington Post article, “No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future.” Learn the lesson that has presented itself. Then…put it in the past. And live in the moment. The present moment.

Am I safe? Do I have food to eat? Do I know if any of the terrible things I might think are really true? And if I don’t, was/is there any reason to obsess over them? Not meaning to preach here, just kind of relate a journey which took me from an abusive marriage to a new life in a place that I love, and a close relationship with my family, and friends. 10 years ago, I left that marriage. It was the beginning of creating a new life for myself. I accept that I also had an equal hand in creating the old, fearful and sad one that I lived in for so many years. But do I regret that life? No. I learned some of my most important lessons ever there. And, of course, without it would not have my son. Sometimes I reget that it took me so long to learn the lesson, but….it is what it is. I took as long as I needed, and now at the age of almost 66, I see the benefits of the lessons.

I’m so grateful that others have gone before me on this journey and have shared their wisdom. So greatful for the great teachers of these essential wisdoms who have been put in my path, holding a candle or a floodlight, or sometimes just taking me by the hand and guiding me….whichever was needed for me to see, and comprehend.

I guess that if I were to add a #11, it would be, “Every day find something to be grateful for. Even if it’s just your breath.” Gratitude is probably one of the most important things we can do for ourselves. Even to the point of being grateful for all our hardships, for the lessons we learned from them. Sometimes when I can’t get to sleep, I just start listing in my head all the things I’m grateful for. My son, my family, my friends. The bed that I sleep in, the food in my fridge, the moonlight outside my window, the air that I breathe. I’ve often fallen asleep making that list. It just brings a sense of calm and order, and peace.

Guess I’m doing some introspection this morning, caused by that article. If you want to read the article, here’s the link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/10-fundamental-truths-that-will-change-your-life_us_58dc0459e4b07f61a2bb8ae0?

Love and light, everyone.