One-Liner Wednesday is hosted by Linda G. Hill. It’s a cool way to break up the week! This is my first attempt, but not my last! If you want to know more, and join the fun, click on the link below.
Here is my contribution. It’s a dream we all have. Happy Wednesday!!
In an unprecedented explosion of love, the haters were laid flat on their backs, and gave up their senseless battle to bring darkness to the world.
I know you’re afraid
That the fears crawl up your spine
Closing your frail heart.
I know shadows creep
Through the corners of your mind
And threaten your soul.
I’m here for you, then.
When the darkness surrounds you
I’ll hold your scared hand.
When hope has run off,
And misery stares you down
Reach for me, I’m here.
You’re never alone
Unless you choose solitude.
I’ll be standing by.
You may not see me,
You might think I’ve disappeared.
I haven’t, I’ll be there.
Whisper my name then,
When life has abandoned you.
Reach out, I’ll be there.
Greed, I despise it.
Living from fear, fear of lack.
Take from those who need.
How can someone fear
So much? It boggles the mind.
A sad way to live.
Love your fellow man.
If he’s hungry, please feed him.
No shoes? Give him yours.
Love him, give to him.
Give to acknowledge having.
Grateful you’ve enough.
By Deborah E. Dayen
Image from Google Images
Groundhog in the grass
Nose to the earth, tail switching
Bountiful feasting.
By Deborah E. Dayen
Picture from Google Images
I meditate most mornings, for 15 or 20 minutes. To start my day, to center and ground me. I prefer guided meditations in the morning. Usually I choose a meditation that guides you in, with an intent, but then, lets you go off in silence, with only the music. I find the music helps block the internal chatter that might otherwise distract me. I find a mantra to repeat is also good to help keep my mind silent.
I have a favorite meditation from Youtube. This meditation uses the mantra “So Hum”, which is traditional for meditation. It means, “I am”. Since “I am” is traditionally God’s name, they say (the wise spiritual teachers of the millennia) never to follow the words “I am” with anything that God could not be. Like, never say, I am stupid. I am ugly. I’m an asshole. Because, God is not, could not be, those things, lol.
And God lives within us, as us. (Lesson from Eat Pray Love, thank you Liz Gilbert.)
So this morning, I listened to this meditation, and as she guided us to say “So Hum” I began to cry. It surprised me, seriously. I have not felt sad this morning. I slept well last night. But…crying I was.
I realized, when I got to the place where I could just observe myself, that I just have a lot of emotion I am afraid to let surface, over this move. Not that I don’t want to do it, I do. I have dreamed of it. It’s just, all the goodbyes I have to say. To my friends, who are my family here. Mostly, though, to my son.
It brings so much pain to know he will be so far away. It has just been the two of us for so very long. We have gone through so much together. We’ve grown, we’ve had our joys, and our growing pains. I remembered when his father would pass out on the floor watching TV, and we’d both go to bed. He in his room, me next to him in the guest room that became my room for the last 5 years of my marriage. We’d talk, he’d make me laugh so hard. He and I had our own separate world then, about which his controlling father knew nothing. I swear those nights, my son sitting on my bed talking and laughing, made it all bearable, as I planned and plotted a way to get us free.
We created a bond which will never be broken, it is a connection that miles cannot stretch. He will always be my best friend, and I his.
This last thought made the tears stop, and I caught my breath. I am. He is. We are.
The meditation starts out with a centering thought. I am perfection, I am healthy, I am strong.
I am, we are, you are.
Love and light……
I was at that place today
You know the one.
You’ve been there too.
Daydreams collide
Fiction and fantasy
What was and what wasn’t
What could be and what can’t.
What is, and what isn’t.
Confusion and conflict wove
My head and my heart
Into a chaotic tapestry
Of love and pain, regret and hope.
Things I’d forgotten,
Or, tried to,
Danced rings around my psyche
Spiraling around me
Squeezing the breath out of me.
Days yet to come
Jousted for position
Among the dancers
Painting the pictures with the wind
On the surface of my soul.
I stayed there til it settled.
The spinning stopped,
The dancers grew tired,
The jousting painters dipped their brushes
Tentatively, beginning their work.
And I, in the center,
Of all that commotion
Regained myself.
‘Twas a reminder
He existed for awhile
As the man I loved.
I’m happy to know
There was good reason to love
Then. He was worthy.
Outside, in the dark
Storm clouds blown by boastful winds
Race across my heart.
Those gossamer threads
were stretched a little thinner.
Ghosts in the shadows.
By Deborah E. Bedrick
Picture from Google Images
I was just looking for an email in my trash. It was from the B & B where I made a reservation to stay for my niece’s wedding. I sorted the mail alphabetically, to make it easier to find. I needed to cancel the reservation.
I didn’t find it. But I did find an email from Scott….from December of 2014. We’d been seeing each other for just over 6 months. A lot. He was responding to me. Telling me that I had not made a fool of myself, (for what I have no idea, but I thought I had, made one of myself.) He said he was making a project for me on swordfishing. And that he missed me.
Geezus.
It was before the days of Betty Boop. When she was still completely out of his life.
Fuck. I wish I hadn’t see that. And wish I hadn’t clicked on it out of curiosity when I saw it. I wish my email didn’t hold the trash for 2 years. I had no idea.
I never got the thing on swordfishing. I was genuinely interested, he did that back when they had a little basket on a mast and someone had to keep an eye out for the swordfish from up there. Before the long liners, back when they had to harpoon each fish individually. That was his job, for awhile, to spot the fish and direct the boat. It is one of the most important jobs on the boat as I recall. I loved that he worked and loved a job that kept him at sea. I love anything to do with the ocean. He knew I loved the sea like he did.
I wondered briefly if he misses me now. For some reason, I think so. I miss the guy who wrote that email. I don’t miss the guy who called me the c-word on this blog. I don’t miss the guy who is capable of lying out of both sides of his mouth, denying that we ever meant anything to each other. But who he was before she showed back up, when he chose to be that lying cheating SOB….I miss that man.
This will pass. Just a brief stumble.
Love and light, all.
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