I saw him walking
I recognized his swagger
The obtuse posture.
Never understood
What I was trying to say
Nor did he want to.
Seeing him loping
From a slight distance, I knew
It was him, and smiled.
Wondered what story
He listens to now, or tells.
Mine is still the same.
Love always and all ways.
By Deborah E. Dayen
Picture from Google Images
So….. my friend in the concrete business is going to come over and give me an estimate and a written opinion. For free. It could cost me $500 to do that. He’s a good friend. Really good. I once told him and Linda, his wife, if I ever found another man, I would send him to Peter for lessons. He’s probably the kindest, most generous, loving, grounded and centered men I have ever known. He’s half of the couple, with Linda, who put on the gong baths that I go to religiously. Or did. I hope I can find anything like them in FL.
Then I came home, and ate dinner, turned on the hot water in the kitchen sink, and guess what? It didn’t get hot. I went down to the hot water heater and the furnace. Furnace was on. Hot water heater was on. There was no hot water.
I called the plumber, and texted him. He’s on the way home from Cape Cod where he had a job, so I told him to come tomorrow at 7:30 am. It can’t be much to fix, right? Idk. I thought the water was not hot this morning, and I was going to go check the thermostat tonight. Oh well. Shit happens. I can’t get upset over anything right now. Nothing is easy.
On a brighter note, my son has been filling out apps on line and got a call back from T-Mobile today for a phone interview tomorrow! That is soooo cool. I know it made him feel much better about the move. And he’s found some suitable places to live on Craig’s list too. He gave his boss notice today, and the boss said he’d see if there were any transfers available for jobs out there. That was awesome too.
So, good things and irritating things, just so much of them. I was on sensory overload when I got home. A couple of good friends invited me to go out to eat next week, that will be nice. Sunday my bff’s husband’s band is playing at the local watering hole on the lake. Pretty excited to go and hear them!
Seems to be a lot of energy swirling around. I hope I can stay grounded in the center.
Love and light.
Hot water heaters,
cracks in the foundation, sigh….
Selling a house sucks.
I’ve been struggling for a couple of days now, with a request from my buyers. They are concerned, purportedly, with cracks in the foundation which they say may point to serious problems with it. If the problems are serious, they say, they could cost up to $10K to remediate. They want me to give them $5k toward this.
My feeling is, this is a 30 year old house, and it’s in CT, where we have 120° temperature changes between winter and summer, and every house of this age in CT has settling cracks. That’s why we all have basements, so that the basement does the settling, and not the house. There is not one crack in a wall, a floor, or a ceiling anywhere in the house, except on the basement floor. There is no issue of water coming in the house from any source (now that the hot water tank is fixed, lol.)
I feel like they are using it as an excuse to take more money from me, and I can ill afford to give it to them to be nice. But if there is a real problem, I get their concern. (However, I’m pretty sure there’s not, or it would show elsewhere in the house.) So what I am thinking of doing is putting $5k into escrow, to be released upon presentation of a bonafide estimate from a licensed contractor with a paid receipt for a deposit on the work. To be done within 6 months, and for half of the estimate up to $5k.
I’ve stopped freaking out over the money. My life would be so much easier if I could have sold the house for at least what I paid for it, but that’s not what’s happened, and with this market, I’d get no more if I sat around through another torturous New England winter. So I’m cutting my losses and running. I will have enough money for what I need to do with it. And money is a thing. We can get more money. I can’t get more time to retire, to enjoy my life, to do the things I want to do. I’ll have to try to make it up somehow. And I will, no matter what, move on with my life and live it out in peace and joy without freaking out over this.
Life is for living and loving. Not for worrying and plotting. Karma will get them, if that’s what they are doing. I don’t have to worry about it. So I think my plan protects me within reason, I hope they will accept it. Considering that I spent $2400 on a hot water heater for them yesterday, I think I’m being fairly generous.
So…back to work today. It’s a beautiful dry, warm perfectly clear summer day today. And pretty soon, I’ll get to enjoy everyone of them. Almost year round.
Love and light.
One-Liner Wednesday is hosted by Linda G. Hill. It’s a cool way to break up the week! This is my first attempt, but not my last! If you want to know more, and join the fun, click on the link below.
Here is my contribution. It’s a dream we all have. Happy Wednesday!!
In an unprecedented explosion of love, the haters were laid flat on their backs, and gave up their senseless battle to bring darkness to the world.
I know you’re afraid
That the fears crawl up your spine
Closing your frail heart.
I know shadows creep
Through the corners of your mind
And threaten your soul.
I’m here for you, then.
When the darkness surrounds you
I’ll hold your scared hand.
When hope has run off,
And misery stares you down
Reach for me, I’m here.
You’re never alone
Unless you choose solitude.
I’ll be standing by.
You may not see me,
You might think I’ve disappeared.
I haven’t, I’ll be there.
Whisper my name then,
When life has abandoned you.
Reach out, I’ll be there.
Greed, I despise it.
Living from fear, fear of lack.
Take from those who need.
How can someone fear
So much? It boggles the mind.
A sad way to live.
Love your fellow man.
If he’s hungry, please feed him.
No shoes? Give him yours.
Love him, give to him.
Give to acknowledge having.
Grateful you’ve enough.
By Deborah E. Dayen
Image from Google Images
Groundhog in the grass
Nose to the earth, tail switching
Bountiful feasting.
By Deborah E. Dayen
Picture from Google Images
I meditate most mornings, for 15 or 20 minutes. To start my day, to center and ground me. I prefer guided meditations in the morning. Usually I choose a meditation that guides you in, with an intent, but then, lets you go off in silence, with only the music. I find the music helps block the internal chatter that might otherwise distract me. I find a mantra to repeat is also good to help keep my mind silent.
I have a favorite meditation from Youtube. This meditation uses the mantra “So Hum”, which is traditional for meditation. It means, “I am”. Since “I am” is traditionally God’s name, they say (the wise spiritual teachers of the millennia) never to follow the words “I am” with anything that God could not be. Like, never say, I am stupid. I am ugly. I’m an asshole. Because, God is not, could not be, those things, lol.
And God lives within us, as us. (Lesson from Eat Pray Love, thank you Liz Gilbert.)
So this morning, I listened to this meditation, and as she guided us to say “So Hum” I began to cry. It surprised me, seriously. I have not felt sad this morning. I slept well last night. But…crying I was.
I realized, when I got to the place where I could just observe myself, that I just have a lot of emotion I am afraid to let surface, over this move. Not that I don’t want to do it, I do. I have dreamed of it. It’s just, all the goodbyes I have to say. To my friends, who are my family here. Mostly, though, to my son.
It brings so much pain to know he will be so far away. It has just been the two of us for so very long. We have gone through so much together. We’ve grown, we’ve had our joys, and our growing pains. I remembered when his father would pass out on the floor watching TV, and we’d both go to bed. He in his room, me next to him in the guest room that became my room for the last 5 years of my marriage. We’d talk, he’d make me laugh so hard. He and I had our own separate world then, about which his controlling father knew nothing. I swear those nights, my son sitting on my bed talking and laughing, made it all bearable, as I planned and plotted a way to get us free.
We created a bond which will never be broken, it is a connection that miles cannot stretch. He will always be my best friend, and I his.
This last thought made the tears stop, and I caught my breath. I am. He is. We are.
The meditation starts out with a centering thought. I am perfection, I am healthy, I am strong.
I am, we are, you are.
Love and light……
I was at that place today
You know the one.
You’ve been there too.
Daydreams collide
Fiction and fantasy
What was and what wasn’t
What could be and what can’t.
What is, and what isn’t.
Confusion and conflict wove
My head and my heart
Into a chaotic tapestry
Of love and pain, regret and hope.
Things I’d forgotten,
Or, tried to,
Danced rings around my psyche
Spiraling around me
Squeezing the breath out of me.
Days yet to come
Jousted for position
Among the dancers
Painting the pictures with the wind
On the surface of my soul.
I stayed there til it settled.
The spinning stopped,
The dancers grew tired,
The jousting painters dipped their brushes
Tentatively, beginning their work.
And I, in the center,
Of all that commotion
Regained myself.
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